Get Off the Bus

NAOMI HIRAHARA

Once a book festival is over, it’s pretty much over for the regular attendees who consult their calendar to see what’s next. For festival organizers, booksellers, and authors, it’s a time to decompress, recover, do some bookkeeping, and, if they’re smart, evaluate what went right and what went wrong.

NAOMI’S QUICK OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THE LAT FESTIVAL OF BOOKS

1) LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. The booth’s location and size make all the difference in the world. Sisters in Crime/Crime Time Books have prime real estate, right outside of Royce Hall, which holds 1,800. This year they had more space, which allowed people easier access to the books. Many authors sold out of stock and Crime Time Books says this year may have been their best.

2) TIME MATTERS: Book selling started early–hard-core enthusiasts were there even before the festival opened on Saturday and were purchasing books. But by the late afternoon on Sunday, buyers were weighed down with book purchases and credit card debt and were not as open to buy books by authors they were unfamiliar with. Note to authors: try to schedule as many booth signings on Saturday and early Sunday.

3) FESTIVAL IS DRAWING MORE OUT-OF-STATE PARTICIPANTS: Once I got off of the Vroman’s bus at 9:30 a.m on Saturday, I ran into power forward Reed Coleman, wearing his MWA T-shirt and black blazer, Peter Spiegelman, and Johnny Temple at the Akashic booth. Apparently New Yorker Coleman loves L.A. and Saturday, which broke out in sunshine, was a particular good day for an East Coaster to visit.

4) CONSISTENCY AND PERSISTENCE WIN OUT: San Francisco-based Cara Black, who was on the L.A. Times Bestseller List in March with MURDER IN MONTMATRE, credits much of her success on making the trek to the L.A. Times Festival of Books six consecutive years and also nurturing her relationship with Southern California booksellers in general. Of course, she also writes darn good mysteries and has a great hook: "a murder in Paris." Fellow blogger Pari Noskin Taichert is a masterful speaker (that’s why I identify myself as a former p.r. flak vs. p.r. professional) and easily convinced some L.A. teenagers to buy her first Agatha-nominated book, THE CLOVIS INCIDENT. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

5) SWEDES AND MANGA WERE HOT TOPICS IN THE PLAZA: Swedish mysteries were selling like hotcakes in the Book’em booth (an unnamed bookseller rhapsodized on how handsome Kjell Eriksson was. I didn’t get a chance to meet him, but sorry, Simon, he looks tall in his author’s photo!!!) Sales of Japanese translated manga was burning up the grass at Kinokuniya, which also had a better location than previous years.

6) PICTURE BOOKS, MOVE OVER FOR CHAPTER BOOKS & Y.A.: Since I rode on a bus with the manager of Vroman’s children’s department, as well as signed with Newbery winner Cynthia Kadohata, my eyes were newly opened to the power of chapter books for children. Well, if you think about it–Carl Hiaasen did it two times, Lois-Ann Yamanaka did it three times, Walter Mosley, Michele Serros, Clive Cussler, and Sherman Alexie all did it. Apparently with the Baby Boomer’s children aging into adolescence, the demand for YA has increased. So if you can think from a child’s or teenager’s perspective, this is your moment to pitch that story to that agent or publisher.

7) LACK OF A COHESIVE MYSTERY PRESENCE: Apparently the Mystery Bookstore Pre-Festival party was hopping Friday night. (I opted not to fight Friday night traffic–it’s an eastside/westside thing.) A lot of authors hung out the centrally located Mystery Bookstore booth during the weekend, but it would have been nice to see an even more cohesive presence at the festival itself. Perhaps a joint Sisters in Crime/MWA event with all the mystery vendors on Saturday evening (yes, to add to the madness), or some silly sticker that mystery fans could affix to their T-shirts or something. Mysterious Galaxy had a nice flyer with all their signing authors listed–it would have been helpful to have a comprehensive flyer with all the mystery booths and authors and have volunteers pass them out in the middle of Dickson Plaza. Or perhaps a pre-festival snail-mailing/e-mailing of all the signings to Sisters in Crime and MWA members.

Those who weren’t on a panel and just signed in booths were at a distinct disadvantage because their presence was largely unknown to the 120,000 folks visiting the event. I wasn’t on a panel, but two booths had put my name in under the author signings page, and that surely propelled sales. (I also had a new book that had come out that week.)

Of course, it’s easy to suggest these ideas, but quite another thing to come up with the labor and money to organize extra events and publicity efforts during such a hectic time. So to implement anything additional will require more workers. But just an observation from the peanut gallery.

05030008 ALL ABOARD: The "red" bus, the Vroman’s bus I hosted, was filled by 8:30 a.m. Before we left, I got to meet the authors of the debut novel, LITERACY AND LONGING IN L.A., who were hosting the green bus. A total of four buses left Pasadena for Westwood.

AUTHORS REVISIT HISTORY: I was able to catch at least one panel on revisiting history with, from left to right, moderator Jonathan Kirsch, Luis Rodriguez, Jennifer Haigh, Harry Turtledove. Kirsch had some great questions, which covered the gammit from political correct language vs. language of the era, alternate history, etc. It was a nice mix of scholarly/street/sophisticated. I enjoyed it.

MR. HOLLYWOOD: Sean Doolittle blends right in with the L.A. crowd with a cell phone clamped to his ear. Crime Time owner Linda Bivens is on the right.

MY TWO NEW BEST FRIENDS (AT LEAST FROM 2 TO 4 ON SUNDAY): André Coleman, an editor with the Pasadena Weekly who has written a new book, A LIAR’S TALE, and the indomitable Cara Black, creator of the Aimée Leduc series. Cara’s soft spoken but she gets the promotional the job done and then some. The woman in pink in the back is Sister in Crime board member Susan Berry, who organized the author signings this year. Thanks, Susan!

JAPANOPHILES GONE NUTS: This was pretty much par for the course at the Kinokuniya booth. My stacks of Mas Arai books were all gone by Sunday at noon! Yay!

SUNSHINE GALS: Ms. Chili Pepper herself, Pari, debut novelist Louise Ure (center), and Patricia Smiley. Patty, who gives the most articulate quotes, was on a panel and in the L.A. Times rundown of Sunday’s activities. And just to show you what a small world it truly is–Pari met the sister of a writer she knows back in Alburquerque, where she’s from, in the bathroom.

MS. NEWBERY: That’s me on the left and last year’s Newbery Winner Cynthia Kadohata on the right signing at the Heritage Source booth. It’s been so cool to watch Cynthia’s career skyrocket.

OTHER FACES OF L.A. MYSTERY

While authors are usually front and center, we all know the power of the biz lies in our precious booksellers and fans. Here are a few portraits.

HE ONCE WAS A COMRADE OF MAS: Bobby McCue, more often just referred to as "Bobby," is the manager of the Mystery Bookstore in Westwood. He also once was in the landscaping biz, my character Mas’s field.

BOOK COLLECTOR EXTRAORDINAIRE: Michael Masliah is hooked on books. Usually pulling a suitcase on wheels, Masliah is a fixture at L.A.-based mystery conventions and, of course, the L.A. Festival of Books. He spends 24/7 on books, since he also works at a librarian at Culver City Julian Dixon Library, a County of Los Angeles Public Library, and serves on the board of this.

WHY IS THIS MAN SMILING?: Book’em Mysteries’s head honcho Barry Martin is all smiles. Could it be that the booth did particularly well this year?

HE PIMPED BATMAN’S RIDE: Well, maybe not him literally, but his company. Whether it be Sisters in Crime meetings or mystery booths at book festivals, you’ll usually see the woolly head (when it’s not covered in one or two hats) of self-avowed feminist Don Cannon, passionately discussing his latest mystery book find. While he’s devoted to progressive causes, Cannon needs cold hard cash to finance those stacks of books that he buys. There’s where his company, Cannon Engineering, comes in. They design and manufacture automobile drive shafts in North Hollywood and provided the official drive shaft of the Batmobile!

For more photos, check out the blog of the Mystery Dawg himself, Aldo Calcagno. And other attendees–readers, authors, and booksellers–if you have your own observations, add them to the comment section, please!

SPAM FOR THE WEEK: Sue Bartle of Rockville, Maryland, writes: "Personally, I DETEST Spam. But, I had a friend in college who loved the stuff. She would make it during finals week. She would take a slice of Spam and add a slice of American cheese and encase it in Pillsbury biscuit dough. She would then bake it. What a waste of perfectly good cheese." Contribute your Spam memories to the inaugural Mas Arai Spam Contest. See my website for details.

QUIBBLES & BITS

Deni Dietz

I recently ran into a friend who said, "I read your book, Chain a Lamb Chop to the Bed, and I loved it."

Thank you," I said, turning bright red [I always turn bright red when someone says she/he loves my books].

"But," she said.

Uh-oh, I thought, the dreaded but.

"I got it at the library," she said.

I gave her a bone-crushing hug.

For the record, I was a "library kid." Picture a plump Shirley Temple with red curls, emerging from the Bayside [N.Y.] library…hands cradled around books…so many books…so many adventures to share…the top book anchored by my chin.

Now, if you’re an author [published or non], repeat after me: "Librarians are our friends. Despite their hectic schedules, librarians read books. Librarians recommend books. Libraries buy books."

And what’s more, librarians do their best to order a book requested by a patron. It’s true. If everyone who reads this blog requests…oh, say, Chain a Lamb Chop to the Bed, librarians will try and get it for you.

I dedicated Eye of Newt to librarians.

When I saw my first published book in a bookstore, I was thrilled. When I saw it in the library, I lost my breath. Literally. Finding my breath, running up and down the aisles, I shouted, "Come! Come! Come! Come!" As if I were the Pied Piper, people followed me back to the New Book Section. "Me!" I said, pointing. "Me! Me! Me!"

And the people smiled.

‘Tis the merry month of May and, as promised [and rib-nudged], Bea will start her serialized suspense story today. In fact, she’s pushing me aside and reaching for the keyboard right now…

GOLDIE AND THE THREE BEERS
by Beatrice Brooks

Twenty-six-year-old Goldie Locke, named for Goldie Hawn—her mother was watching Private Benjamin when her [expletive deleted] water broke — heard heavy footsteps rounding the [expletive deleted] curve behind her. The dense, dark forest was deserted, as dense, dark forests usually are in the middle of the night. Which led to the question: If a Mime fell in the
forest, would anyone hear? Even more importantly, would anyone care?

That very question kept running through Goldie’s head, reverberating like a kettle drum [or, in Goldie’s case, cymbals], as, frightened out of her [expletive deleted] wits, she began shedding stuff in order to make herself lighter. And faster. Her [expletive deleted] wallet, her [expletive deleted]
keys, her maxed-out credit cards, her laptop computer, three library books, and, finally, her [expletive deleted] clothes.

Naked, bosom bouncing, Goldie ran as if her life depended on it…

Tune in next week for the second installment.

Over and out,
Deni

When To Use A PR Pro & How To Hire One

Pari Noskin Taichert

Ah, the
wonders of self-promotion. Web-logs and websites, books and articles – all try
to give the keys to getting attention in this over-mediaized (well, it should be a word) marketplace.

I think
just about every author who has to be aware of PR – and that’s most of us –
fantasizes about hiring someone to take up the slack – or to put him or her on
the NYT Bestselling list.

IMHO
everyone can be effective PR pros without hiring others to do the work for
them. That said, there are times and reasons to hire outsiders:

A. You’ve got
the personality of an eggplant.

B. You’ve
got a family emergency.

C. You’re
working under a harsh deadline for book #19.

D. You
absolutely hate “bragging” about your work (Oh, come on! I despise this excuse
because it’s such a cop-out. There’s a difference between telling people about your work and hyperbole.)

E. You’re
already overwhelmed and can’t devote energy to create strong public relations
plans or campaigns.

F. You
don’t know what the hell you’re doing and don’t want to learn.

In these
cases, investing in a credible PR pro might help.

Ask
yourself these questions when interviewing a consultant.

1. Does this person listen to me and really answer my questions? You need someone who understands
your needs and won’t produce generic work for you.

2. Will I feel comfortable disclosing confidential information to her? If the vibe isn’t right, go no
further. In times of crisis, media frenzy and strategic planning – you need to
be able to (and should expect to) bare your soul to this trusted colleague.

3. Do I like this person? If you don’t have an automatic positive response, I’d bid
the applicant adieu. There are other PR pros out there.

4. Does she have a true big-picture approach? Avoid people who only talk about
getting publicity. Reminder: publicity is free news coverage. Your PR campaign
should be multi-faceted and mindful of short-and long-term goals.

5. Can he communicate and write effectively? Ask for samples and assess them
critically. A biggie is making sure the writing is clear and compelling, not
florid and self-impressed. You also might want to look at different kinds of
writing: press release, web writing, article writing.

6. Does she have a creative spark? I’ve met PR folks who bore me to death. Their work
tends to have the same flaw.

7. Does he have useful media/business contacts for me? My theory is that strong local and
regional contacts pay off better in the long run than national ones – unless,
of course, we’re talking about real hits such as a multi-minute interview on a
major television or radio show, or a feature article in an appropriate
magazine/newspaper.

8. Can she do the job? Get real references from authors you respect. If the
candidate doesn’t have a track record, make sure her writing, verbal
communication and creative skills are top-notch.

9. Is he the person I’ll work with or will I be shunted to someone else in
the agency? If
you’re considering an agency, look at this possibility seriously. Some agencies
have you interview with a high-powered performer and then hand your account to
a less experienced (maybe better)
worker for the nitty gritty stuff.

10. Does she have a good sense of humor? Okay, okay,
this is one of my quirks. But humor, especially in times of immense pressure or
stress, is an important asset.

Okay, that’s enough of a
lesson for today.

I have a favor to ask of
you: Do these kinds of tips help you? If so, I’ve written a slew of basic
marketing and public relations articles that I’d be glad to share on this blog.

Just let me know.

Thanks a bunch. I’ll see
you next week.

Who You Gonna Call? MYTHBUSTERS!

Jeffrey Cohen
I have, over the years, interviewed quite a number of writers, both in the mystery biz and not. (Don’t worry, Elaine, I have NO intention of invading your turf here!) They have ranged in subject matter from Harley Jane Kozak (of Dating Dead Men and Dating Is Murder) to Budd Schulberg (who wrote the screenplay for On the Waterfront and the novel What Makes Sammy Run?, but as far as I know, nothing with the word “Dating” in the title), from Janet Evanovich to Spike Lee, from Phoebe Snow (hey, songwriting is writing) to Mindy Starns Clark.

Every writer, one learns, brings his/her own perspective to the task, which is what makes this a creative process and not an assembly line activity. Each one has a point of view, each one attacks the issue in a different way, and each one knows the awful feeling of staring at blankness and yearning to fill it up.

But let’s face it, some of them (not a single one I named above) are a little full of themselves.

Writing is a calling, a professional, an avocation, an art form. It’s also a job. And like any other job, its parameters are deceptively simple. When Lucy and Ethel looked at the candy conveyor belt before it starting moving, that looked like a really easy job. When the belt started to turn, not so much. Writing is like that: all you really have to do is manipulate 26 letters into the proper order, and you have written Moby-Dick. Or Macbeth. Or, for that matter, the latest episode of The War At Home. Whatever floats your boat.

Naturally, it’s not that easy. Choosing the right words, pacing the story, choosing the right story and building characters–none of these is a simple task. Creating something meaningful out of absolutely nothing at all? One of the least simple things on the planet.

But let’s be real. Some writers want you to believe that this is a mystical, paranormal process that involves communing with muses, standing in just the right spot, burning the proper incense, playing exactly the right music (which ranges from Rachmaninoff to the YeahYeahYeahs) and having exactly the proper tools. I know writers who order exactly the proper pens from Office Depot by the gross, and then write novels on a computer. Go figure.

You want to know my writing process? I get an idea–that’s the tricky part, and you can’t rush it. It ususally happens when you’re thinking about something–anything–else, often in the shower, trying to fall asleep (not at the same time) or cooking dinner. I get ideas for stories when I’m doing something that requires virtually no thought whatsoever–like the work that pays my bills.

Once there is an idea, the work doesn’t necessarily get easier, but it becomes controllable. A story idea can be built upon when you decide to think about it and you can do the actual writing at a time that makes sense for you. For me, it’s mostly after three in the afternoon, as I have to get as much real work out of the way as possible before I start trying to be creative.

It’s not that I CAN’T write before three, and it’s not that I CAN’T write whenever there is time. It’s more natural when I do it at a particular time, but it’s not impossible any other time. When I get near the end of a novel, believe me, I can write at any time of the day or night.

And I don’t believe in writer’s block. I don’t think there is such a thing–I think it’s writers who are doing what we do best–procrastinating–by claiming there’s a special writer’s disease that only they understand. I’m a freelance writer. If someone is paying me for an article, and it has to be handed in on Thursday, believe me, it gets written by Thursday. I’d love to tell one of my editors at a newspaper or magazine that I’d like to give them their articles, but I have writer’s block. No doubt my phone would be ringing off the hook with offers after that, no?

Here are some of the things you hear from writers in interviews that make me grind my teeth:

1. All the really successful ones will tell you they get up at four or five in the morning and write all morning. Uh-huh. Yeah, writers don’t need sleep. I’d like to stake out one of these writers’ homes at four in the morning and turn on all the lights when they don’t get up that early. I’d do it, too, but there’s no way I’M getting out of bed that early. The only difference is, I’ll admit it.

2. One of my favorites: “I really write it all out on a legal pad in longhand.” I’ve had successful mystery writers, screenwriters and novelists tell me this one. Sure, they do. In the age of computers, in which you can revise your sentence immediately without re-typing, Wite-Out or ripping pages to shreds, they work on legal pads. You hear this more from REALLY successful writers, mostly because they can then add the part about “then I get my assistant to type it out for me; honestly without (him/her), I don’t know how I’d get by.” This not only manages to preserve the “mystical process” myth of writing, it also lets you know that they can afford an assistant, and you can’t.

3. “I can only write when classical music is playing.” The converse of this myth, which is purported by those writers hoping for a younger audience, is “I can only write when (insert name of extremely loud and atonal rock band) is playing.” Neither is true. Writers can write with music, without music, in an attic, in a basement, with the ballgame on the TV in the next room (I’ve done some of these), with food, without food, in the middle of a hurricane (assuming they have a self-powered legal pad) or on the beach of a Caribbean island. Although why you’d want to waste a day on the beach of a Caribbean island writing is beyond me. Music may give you something to think about while you’re trying to procrastinate, but it’s not necessary to the writing process. If it is, what do SONGWRITERS have on when they’re writing? Audiobooks of novels?

4. “I don’t know where the ideas come from.” Oh, please. Of course you do. Characters, while they are impish creatures who do things unexpected even to their creators, do not live in an alternative universe. They’re not sitting in a giant character Holding Area waiting for the proper writer to wake up one morning and say, “hey… what about a sea captain who’s really an international jewel thief named Ramondo?” “Number 18273658! Ramondo! You’re up!”

5. “It came to me in a dream.” So did acid reflux. Dreams, once again puncturing a popular myth, take place in your MIND. That’s a physical space inside your head. If you dream about something, odds are you were thinking about a topic at least tangentially related to it. Deities did not send a story idea to you while you were sleeping, and I wouldn’t count on elves repairing your shoes while you’re taking the nightly nap, either. Maybe you got a PIECE of an idea in a dream, if you’re one of those odd souls who can remember their dreams, but trust me, a whole novel? How long were you asleep?

Writing is a noble profession, historically elevated to an art form by alcoholics. It is, indeed a calling, and people who aren’t going to do it no matter what shouldn’t attempt to do it for a living. But it’s a job. It is, in my mind, anyway, a better job than most, and the only thing I know how to do well, other than watch baseball games (I’m great at that). I’d be a sub-average guitarist, a run-of-the-mill lawyer, and for all I know a competent upholsterer, but writing is what I’ve always wanted, and people have told me I’m good at it. Enough people that, so far, I’ve been able to make my living–such as it is–at this pursuit. Luckily, my wife has a steady job.

But I haven’t ever thought of my job as a mystical event, a miracle or a message from another dimension. I’m good at making up stories, and better at telling them. That’s all it is.

ON THE BUBBLE WITH PAUL GUYOT-Part 1

PAUL GUYOT has got to be one of the most successful and prolific TV writers who can combine a grueling television production schedule with writing fiction. Not only was he the writer and producer of JUDGING AMY, he also wrote for FELICITY, worked with David E. Kelly and Michael Connelly, and has recently completed a pilot for TNT-and-inked another deal with Sony Pictures to develop, produce and write another first rate TV pilot. Quelle Diable! But fear not! Paul is still one of ‘us’. His short story – CLOSERS – can be found in Robert J. Randisi’s new crime anthology – GREATEST HITS – (all about hit men, naturally) – which includes shorts by Lee Child, Lawrence Block and Jeffery Deaver. A man of many hats, a rapid fire wit, and a loveable rogue. My kinda guy.

See for yourself!

EE: A good friend of yours (and it wasn’t DM or JWL-or maybe it was) told me being an acclaimed, award winning TV writer no longer holds the allure it once did, thus you have decided to blow the roof off the barn and become a real writer. Would you kindly address this serious allegation?

PG: If I were a real writer, do you think I’d actually be wasting my time talking with you? Rest assured I am still the filthy money-grubbing whore you know and love.

Ah, can you see why I love this guy?

EE: Isn’t it true, besides all your other mind-boggling achievements, you long to be a NASCAR racer and leave Kurt Busch eating your dust?

PG: Since Kurt had surgery to pin his ears back (I’m not kidding) he is much faster now. Co-efficient of drag, or some horsepucky. Too bad they didn’t pin his mouth back, as well. And longing to drive a race car is not an achievement, but merely a wistful languishing…or a hankering.

Yeah, okay – I’ll buy into that. For now.

EE: What’s the story on the watch fetish? I mean, come on, Guyot, just how many Rolex’s and Piaget’s do you really need? Isn’t that Mickey Mouse watch Quentin Tarrentino gave you good enough? He’s heartbroken, you know. He told me so just the other day when we talked about my new script.

PG: Good woman, I’ll have you know I own zero Rolex’s or Piagets (sic). Now, if you want to talk Vacheron-Constantine or Blancpain, let’s get Joseph Finder in here hand have a good, old fashioned haute horology excursus.

And if you have the time – or over the four beers I owe you – I’ll tell you about my run-ins with that fraud QT.

Uh, let’s leave Finder for another time? I’d MUCH rather hear about QT! Will four beers do it – or will we need more?

EE: So what’s the real story about you Michael Connelly and that TV show?

PG: Ah, LEVEL 9. A show about cops battling cyber-crime. It actually had a chance of being cool, but we had UPN as our network back when they were the UPN airing "Homeboys in Outer Space." Thus, we were "noted" to death by people who could barely qualify to be convenience store clerks, and lacked the creativity of a cinderblock.

My favorite moment was when we got the notes re: the script for episode 3 or 4, something like that. We had just premiered to less than auspicious numbers for our targeted demographic of young boys, and the brain trust that was UPN sent down a note that said: "Can you put a severed head in the teaser, because kids dig severed heads!"

They do? Thank God mine are all grown!

EE: Rumor around Mysteryville is that you joined International Thriller Writers just to hang out in the bar with Tess Gerritson and Alex Kava at ThrillerFest. I’m really chuffed about that one. So what if I’m old enough to be your aunt? I’ve got a new night cream I’m working on. Besides, you still owe me four beers from Bcon in Chicago.

PG: Beers with you is on the calendar in pen, but if Tess or Alex even glances my way, you must understand that I will be on them like weird on Bjork.

I can change night creams.

EE: I hear you’re giving Lee Child elocution lessons. Wanna comment on that?

PG: Actually, Lee was my only student. You’d never know that when "Killing Floor" came out, Lee sounded like a cross between Foghorn Leghorn and Truman Capote.

What a marvelous job you did! His voice is soooo charming now. Sigh. If only…well, never mind.

EE: Give us the low down on Don Johnson, okay? I mean, you were his stand in on a few movies, so you should know if the rumors about his comic book addiction is true. Was he really secretly in love with Lois Lane? Or was it Superman?

PG: I’m the one with the boxes of original Silver Surfers and Daredevils. And I think he has always been secretly in love with himself.

You’ve got boxes of originals? Can the Antiques Roadshow be in your future?

EE: Was that really you doing the Cha Cha with Laura Lippman in Chicago?

PG: God, I wish. Actually, it was my paying lip service to Chachi. Scott Baio was in Chicago and he’s a bit insecure-not from the ‘Charles In Charge" days – his seminal work-but because of those "Zapped!" movies. So whenever I see him, I always have to say things like, "Yes, you’re better than Pacino."

Better than Pacino? Not! Well, maybe DeNiro is…but I mean, really, Paul! How could you?

ON THE BUBBLE WITH PAUL GUYOT-Part 2

EE: Is it possible that you’re really John Saul’s muse?

PG: No, but interestingly enough, I’m Saul Muse’s john. Saul’s the butcher at the deli I frequent, and the guy dumps on me every chance he gets. Isn’t it funny how my spies get things screwed up? No? I don’t think so either.

EE: Please squash the rumor that Ang Lee is badgering you to co-produce his next movie – ‘The Return of The Three Stooges’. We need you here, in Mysteryville, Paul.

PG: I just saw him at a Vic Tayback trivia night. Man, does Ang know his “Alice.” Anyway, I was telling him about the three G’s in Hurwitz’s name, and one thing lead to another, and we started making out. What was your question? Oh. Actually, his next project is a prequel to his Oscar-winning film – “CrackedRib Creek”. It’s about Ennis Jack’s early years – when it was just simple petting and they knew how to quit each other. I’m laughing too hard here to think!

EE: But enough of this trivia, tell us – and keep it clean – what is your Walter Mitty dream? 100,000 words or less, please.

PG: I’d like to be a sexy former antiques dealer, living in the land of sea lions and Steinbeck, hammering out novels, and occasionally drinking beer with friends. I’m blushing. Could the new night cream be working?

EE: What is your one regret in life?

PG: Doing this interview.

Aww, come on Paul!

EE: So, Paul – tell me…er, us…which sex symbol do you think you resemble?

PG: Rerun from “What’s Happening!” See why he’s such a great writer?

EE: Rumor has it that you’re not answering emails from the thousands of readers going through withdrawal since you shut down your blog –‘INKSLINGER’ This is beyond cruel, Paul. You’ve left an incalculable void and wannabe script writers are assembling to march on your home.

PG: It will stand as an icon of its generation. That, or Typepad will delete it to save face.

Paul is being too humble here. INKSLINGER was one of the most widely read blogs on the net. Not only was it a daily does of laughs, it was filled with insider tips for seasoned scriptwriters as well as those ‘hoping to be’ – and many posters were some of the biggest names on TV, film and in Mysteryville.. Visits-or ‘hits’-frequently hit over 2,000 per day! The mourning period lingers still.

EE: And last, but not the least – by any stretch – when will you finish that thriller we’ve all been waiting for?

PG: As Shell Winters used to say at Seder – “You gonna eat that?” In other words, don’t point out the spec in my eye until you get the bull out of the china shop. In other words, don’t cry over milk inside a black kettle pot. In other words, man does not live by listening to Bread alone. Baby, ImA want you. You get all that everyone? I mean, is the man heavy, or what?

PG: Is she gone yet?

I’m Not The Princess of Darkness. Really!

JT Ellison

Despite what some people may think, I’m not the Princess of
Darkness. I am the Princess of Sweetness and Light, as my family and friends
will attest to. Even without the hot coals.

A lot has changed for me since I started writing mystery
novels three years ago. One of the biggest is my comfort level with darker
material. As any mystery writer can tell you, we write about difficult issues.
We write about death. It seems someone has to die for us to be a success. How
terrible is that?

In my mind, death is intrinsic in the very definition of
“mystery”. Conundrums, enigmas, locked doors, yes, yes, that’s all well and
good. But if we didn’t have a body to identify, or a killer to catch, where
would we really be? Not a lot of people can understand why a writer would
choose to write about murders and death. Sometimes I don’t understand the
compulsion either.

When I was writing my first book, I found myself having the
same conversation over and over. People are naturally curious souls. It never
fails, wherever I go, someone asks me what I do. I hear it all the time,
standing in line at the post office, grocery store, everywhere. Me, I’m there
for the stamps. They’re there for the conversation.

At the beginning, three years ago, I smiled shyly and
replied, “I’m a writer.”

I’ve learned that this statement is open to interpretation.
Broadly open.

Let me interrupt myself here to point out that if this
conversation is being held in the evening, there is a standard second line.
“Oh, you write for the paper.” (Hubby worked for The Tennessean for a while, so
I guess that wasn’t too far out an assumption.)

Regardless of where and when, I’d answer, again coy, “No, I
write books.”

“Ooooh,” they’d gush, decibels piercing the eardrums of
small animals for miles. “You write children’s books!”

The first time this happened, in the middle of Staples, I
burst out laughing. The idea of ME writing a children’s book was so incredibly
preposterous that I was rudely shocked into verbal mirth. Once I’d recovered, I
explained that I write serial killer novels. Nine times out of ten, that halts
the conversation in its tracks. (The one time it didn’t go down like that, the
woman I was talking to happened to be in a horrific situation. A man had
molested her two children. I was able to answer some questions for her and get
her going in the right direction as far as getting the police involved. That
one wasn’t a laughing matter.)

So that became my mantra. When I’m asked what I do, I say, “I Write Serial Killer Novels”.
It’s morphed into “I Write Thrillers”, which seems to go over well. And that’s
when they ask the dreaded question. “What’s a nice girl like you doing writing
about these horrible… things?”

The question comes so often that I feel the need to defend
myself. I’d love to have an easy quip to respond with. Yes, my novels are dark,
and my short stories have a tendency to leap right into all out creepiness.

Why is my writing so dark? The answer is two-fold. I write
what I enjoy reading. I’m not very good at suspending disbelief to allow for
talking cats. I want my mystery to be real, gritty, alive. The other part is no
matter what I write, I have what they call a “tone”. And my “tone” is dark.
Always has been. I can go back and look at stories I wrote when I was a child and
there’s no question who wrote the story.

Like most adolescents, I channeled my angst into poetry.
Really bad poetry. Sappy, righteous crap. And when I got to college, the trend
continued. But I evolved. Was taught the right way to write. Taught the literary
way to write. Mr. Tone, on the other hand, was having none of it. My tone
morphed into a full-blown voice.

I particularly liked the perspective of one of my esteemed
Professors of Literature during my undergrad years. Commenting on a section of
my senior thesis that included a short story I’d written in my best
Hemingway-esque moments, she stated, “The style is too informed by B-grade
detective fiction… too many issues remain unresolved.” A-ha! What I see to this
day is an attempt to write in a different perspective, a story from an
alternate POV, a noir-styled tale of loss. Oddly enough, it’s a ghost story.
And I’d never read any B-grade detective fiction. I’d been reading what I’d
been told for school, plus a few excursions into my parents’ bookcase.

I stopped writing for many years after I left school. One
reason was the constant and blatant criticism of my writing style. It wasn’t
literary enough. I wasn’t writing the kind of material the Pulitzer judges were
going to be looking at, the kind that proper girls’ college magazine’s printed.
I was writing dark, and I wasn’t emulating Sylvia Plath, which would have been
okay. When you have people you think you respect telling you you’ll never get
published, sometimes you listen.

My style really hasn’t changed much since I started writing
again. I still have that “tone”, that voice, that darkness penetrating my
words. But now, I have a whole community of people who write like I do, and I
know I don’t have to conform to a certain style to be successful.

The other reason I write the dark stuff is many of my
stories and plots come from my dreams. And I really dream. Lollapaloozas. I
guess you could call them nightmares. I wake up, skin crawling, heart pounding,
and the minute I realize I’m alive and okay, it crosses my mind. Wow, that
would make a great story. I keep a pad and pen on the nightstand for that very
purpose (though it’s sometimes hard to decipher in the morning).

I am not immured to the horrific things that happen in our
world. I cringe at the news, watch the forensic shows with a touch of stomach
curdling. It seems that no matter when we watch CSI, live or TiVo, we’re eating
some sort of red sauce. I listen to the stories my cop friends tell, look at
autopsy photos, read true crime books. We mystery writers call it research. It
has its gruesome moments.

But it’s real life. There is a gigantic sub-section of the
world who live, on a daily basis, what we fictionalize. Rape, murder, abuse,
kidnappings. They’ve chosen this world, as have I. I try to make sure that I’m
as real as possible in my work, to try and do their jobs justice. I have so
much respect for these people, I never want to trivialize what they do and see.

I have a confession to make. It’s safe to say that I scare myself sometimes. I can’t read
Stephen King or Dean Koontz. I get spooked when I’m alone at night. There are
times that I wish I could write romance or children’s books. But the tone
creeps in and begs to be heard. It wouldn’t do to scare the children, now would
it?

As I’ve continued to write, to read and to experience life,
a strange thing has happened. I’ve found all of you. People who understand the
compulsion to write not necessarily what you know, but what your imagination
dictates. Despite the criticism from my younger years, I’m now part of a huge
family with the surname Mystery. I may still end up being the redheaded
stepchild, but no one is going to kick me out for what I want to write.

Wine of the Week — Chateau Mont-Redon Côtes du Rhône

P.S. Just found out that my 250 word flash You Say Monet, I Say Manet placed in the "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest. Check it out on Clarity of Night. It’s not dark at all!

Too Small To Be Big

I’ll never be a bestselling author. It was never my intention. Seriously, it wasn’t. I just wanted to be published and published well (and hopefully earn a few schekles along the way to keep me stocked in Walnut Whips). But I can dream. One day it would be cool to think that my name will be a household word and sycophants will hang on my every utterance—but that won’t happen, because I’ll never reach bestsellerdom. And it has nothing to do with talent or lucky breaks. It’s because I’m just not big enough to be a bestseller. Physically, I’m mean. At 5’ 4” (actually I’m 5’ 4 1/2”, but my wife, Julie, laughs because I toss in the 1/2”), I’m not a tall guy and short guys don’t make it to the NY Times bestseller list.

You’re probably laughing at me (that’s if you can see me down here amongst the grass blades), but you can’t ignore the facts. Stephen King floats around six-three. Harlan Coben is in that realm, as is Steve Hamilton. Two of the biggest selling authors are two of the biggest people in publishing. Michael Crichton is six-seven or something and they have to divert air traffic around John Grisham wherever he goes. That’s why you don’t see him out promoting his books too much these days. The FAA hates when he leaves a fixed position.

Having attended a number of mystery conventions, I’ve gotten to see these literary and physical giants wandering around the convention halls banging into ceiling lights with their heads while I had to have someone lift me up to reach the elevator button. I used to cast a glance their way and think, wouldn’t it great to be like them. Then I realized, I can’t. I’m not a member of the big guy club. I’m just not big enough to get on their ride. No wonder I’m in the small press. It’s for little people only.

Personally, I think it’s a conspiracy of big people. First they get their own “big and tall” stores, now they all want to be best selling authors. How long will it be before agents start asking for previous publishing credits and height details? Not long, my short-legged friends.

Personally, I think it has to stop. A short guy needs to make it to the NY Times bestseller list to bust open this discrimination—and I think that short guy should be me. What I need you all to do is buy at least five copies of my next book, Working Stiffs, and tell friends and family to do the same. It’s available from Barnes and Noble and all good independent bookstores. Together, we can make a short guy stand on the shoulders of giants.

Just in case you’re wondering if this is a shallow attempt to get you to buy my next book, I’d like to quote Francis Urquhart, “You might think so. I couldn’t possibly comment.”

Simon Wood

An Angeleno’s Ultimate Literary Workout: LAT Festival of Books Part II

Naomi Hirahara

Yesterday I wrote about the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books from largely a visitor’s perspective. Today I will look into the situation of vendors. I was aware that the rental of the booths was not cheap, and a conversation this week confirmed it–the cost, at least for this one vendor, was $2,000 for two 10 by 10 spaces (!). So why would booksellers and publishers, especially small, independent ones, decide to participate in the festival each year?

I, your intrepid reporter, questioned a few booksellers to get their answers.

My hometown mystery bookstore, Book’em Mysteries, has been involved from the very beginning. Count them–that’s 11 consecutive years. In fact, Barry Martin, who owns the bookstore with partner Mary Riley, was a founding participant in the event. Jean Utley, also of the bookstore, writes: "The first year, no one knew just how big or important an event it would be." Apparently one large national chain just brought a folding table, metal cash box, and some poetry listings in their 10 by 10 booth and only made a couple of hundred dollars the first day. Another chain with more foresight made $16,000 that weekend. You can bet that the former chain store made some changes the following year!

Maryelizabeth Hart of Mysterious Galaxy, a San Diego-based mystery and fantasy bookstore, shares that she and her partner jumped in after the first year. "It’s a profitable venue and we always enjoy attending. It’s great to see so many thousands of people gathered to celebrate books and reading in a city not particularly known for being a book town."

Sherry Kanzer, who runs the English-language section of the L.A. branch of Kinokuniya, a Japanese book chain, states that the "Festival of Books is an excellent opportunity for us to introduce the ‘faraway’ downtown location of our specialty store to new customers, particularly on the westside." (For those unfamiliar with westside L.A., this area includes West Los Angeles, parts of Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Culver City, Westwood, Santa Monica, etc. Just think of the movie, "Friends with Money.")

Both Kanzer and Book’em’s Utley express that the festival helps with exposure and name recognition. Writes Utley: "We use the opportunity to let people know where our store is located, the kind of books and service we provide, and introduce lots of authors to the community. There are a lot of people we see once a year at this event who return to our booth to buy more books based on our recommendations."

For Kinokuniya (Booth #312), stationery items are a big attraction. (Attention authors, if you need a signing pen, go to the Kinokuniya booth.) Discounted items as well as novelty titles (HAIKUS FOR JEWS) are apparently big sellers. I asked Kanzer whether she sees an increased interest in Japanese mysteries. "There seems to be a direct correlation between the number of Japanese mystery titles published [in original English and in translation] and the rise in interest. My conclusion is: we need more!" That observation should bode well for not only me, but her, her, her, and him.

Utley prides herself on handselling lots of literary mysteries, translations, local authors, historicals, and favorite books at the festival. They sell everything–hardcovers, trade paperbacks, and mass market books. Mysterious Galaxy tends to do better with books signed by authors who limit the number of formal signings they do at the festival.

The festival is a good place to test the waters and do informal market studies. Martin Burton, publisher of London Town Press (Booth #818), is doing precisely that with a reintroduction of the classic, PEDRO, THE ANGEL OF OLVERA STREET, by the legendary Leo Politi to the festival audience. I myself have vivid memories of Politi’s books and I’m planning to go by the London Town Press to purchase some Pedro books as holiday gifts. Burton, who founded his children’s publishing house with one title in 1998, has expanded to publish not only his own picture books, but also photo-nature books which are distributed by Publishers Group West (PGW). Burton explains that he’s had a booth since 2003 "to ‘stake my flag’ in the publishing world, to see and to been seen among publishing professionals, to interact with buyers of my books, and to expose my books to a wide range of buyers, and to test new products as well." Burton sells hundreds of books at each festival.

And finally, why would an out-of-town author spend his precious pennies on travel to the festival? Well, one of the mystery world’s rising stars, Sean Doolittle, is making the 1,500-mile trek from his home in Omaha to L.A. for his third LAT appearance. He writes, "I love this festival. It’s bright and vibrant and colorful, held outdoors during springtime in a city I love to visit. It’s inspiring to see the ‘personal hero’ authors who inevitably attend, it’s fun to hang out with the friends I’ve made in this business over the past five years, and it’s heartening to mingle with the thousands of strangers who turn out to celebrate books."

It’s also an opportunity for writers to network with L.A. booksellers all in one place. Doolittle is particularly indebted to the Mystery Bookstore in Westwood, located close to the festival’s location. The store, which annually hosts a Pre-Festival of Books signing party on Friday evening and features a large signing lineup in its booth, has been extremely supportive of Doolittle’s books (I’ve witnessed this myself–I’ve seen a nice table display at the Mystery Bookstore’s promoting his third book, RAIN DOGS) as well as countless others. "When they say they have a slot for me at their booth, I’m there." See his website for where and when Sean will be during this weekend.

Speaking of out-of-state mystery authors at the festival, fellow blogger Pari Noskin Taichert will be traveling all the way from New Mexico. Yay! Check out my website and Pari’s website to get a full list of our signings during that weekend. Tell us what you’d like to see on Murderati and we might be able to comply. Also, in a very late development, I was approached last week to pinch hit for a mystery writer who had to cancel his engagement on the Vroman’s Book Bus. So I’ll be the host for one of the store’s mystery buses, holding 50 people captive during a 45-minute bus ride with a microphone in hand. Seriously, with the bagels, coffee, and trivia questions, I think we all will be in for a fun time.

HANDY DANDY GUIDE TO MYSTERY-RELATED BOOTHS

(in alphabetical order)

Akashic Books #197

Book’em Mysteries #441

Crime Time Books/Sisters in Crime L.A. #221

Mysterious Galaxy/Tor/St. Martin’s Minotaur #601

Mystery Bookstore/MWA #411

Mystery Pier Books (signed collectibles) #612

General location: Book’em is on a corner facing Haines Hall. Mystery Bookstore/MWA is located along the main walkway in the middle of Dickson Plaza. Crime Time Books/Sisters in Crime faces the entrance to Royce Hall. Mysterious Galaxy and Mystery Pier Books are in a completely different section in Dickson Court North, also referred to as Zone F. And Akashic is even further away near the Culinary Stage. Make the trek down the Janss Steps and get a bite to eat while looking at the latest in the Noir series.

MYSTERY PAPERBACK ORIGINALS GLAM IT UP: I would have never imagined that my amateur sleuth, an aging Japanese American gardener, would ever be in a magazine with Tom Hanks on the cover. But yes, in the April 28/May 5 issue of Entertainment Weekly, there is a very nice review of my third mystery, SNAKESKIN SHAMISEN. Grade was "B," which is above average, my very kind, sane, and balanced husband reminds me. Also reviewed was BUST, the paperback thriller cowritten by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr. They received an excellent "A-." Congratulations, gentlemen!

PRE-EMPTED SPAM: Because of the length of these special Festival of Books posts, our weekly Spam contest entry has been pre-empted. But it will return next week, in addition to some (hopefully) pretty pictures from the Festival of Books.

An Angeleno’s Ultimate Literary Workout: LAT Festival of Books Part I

(Note: Bea Brooks has kidnapped Tuesday’s Child Denise Dietz in a move to win the hat contest at Malice Domestic. As a result, Wednesday is beginning a little early this week.)

Naomi Hirahara

I’ve been doing my body crunches and push-ups expressly for this weekend: yup, it’s time for the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books.

I’ve been to the first and every one since–it’s going on its 11^th year (wow, unbelievable). I’ve been inspired, angered, energized, and always entertained by the amazing variety of writers at the festival. They have included Sherman Alexie (husband’s favorite), Walter Mosley, Anne Proulx, Maya Angelou, Tony Hillerman, Alexander McCall Smith, Jane Smiley, Percival Everett, Arthur Golden, Sandra Tsing-Loh, Mike Davis, Richard Flanagan, and the list goes on. But what’s even more notable is the sheer number of people who go to this thing, the shine in their eyes as they open up the spine of a new book find, the anticipation as they line up for a panel featuring that favorite writer who they’ve never seen in person before, the conversation between that small press publisher with that special-interest enthusiast. It’s the ultimate rock concert for the book geek.

THREE GREAT THINGS ABOUT THE LAT FESTIVAL OF BOOKS

1) Reportedly 120,000-130,000 people go to this festival, the largest public book gathering in the nation, over its two days. Even if you knock a couple of tens of thousands down for crowd inflation, you have a population that’s larger than most American cities. And they are all folks who are at least nominally interested in the written word. The festival dispels the image of L.A. being a cultural wasteland, concerned with only Botox, celluloid, and cellulite. (But, on the other hand, I won’t mention who Robert Scheer’s going to be talking to on Sunday at noon.)

I love the atmosphere of the event. The crowds are like waves on a beach–it’s mesmerizing to just watch them going from booth to booth.

2) Admission is free. Probably the biggest factor in achieving No. 1.

3) Authors, books, authors, books. To be specific, more than 350 authors and 300 book booths, a bulk of them independent booksellers.

THREE NOT SO GREAT THINGS ABOUT THE LAT FESTIVAL OF BOOKS

1) That approximately 120,000-130,000 people go to this festival. If you’re not into crowds, what can I say? Well, first of all, go early, even before it officially opens at 10 a.m. Bring some tea or coffee and walk through the Murphy Sculpture Garden. Go to the festival until noon, when the crowd really starts to buzz. The food has vastly improved and the prices are not as outrageous as for a hot dog and Coke at a Laker game, but I’d still recommend you bring water and snacks. Who wants to wait a half an hour for a chicken teriyaki bowl, when you can be looking at more books!

2) Parking has gone up to $8. I like to park in the far north parking structure Lot 3, not recommended for the handicapped or those who have problems walking. Forget about the high heels and kinky boots, and for the fair skinned, bring that hat and sun screen. So far this has said that there’s a small chance of rain on Saturday, but yeah, we’ve heard that before.

3) The festival is usually scheduled on the same weekend as this worthy event.

There will be more than a hundred panels all throughout the weekend–some in lecture rooms that seat 200; one that seats 1,800. Although the events are free, seating is limited in the indoor venues, so it’s best if you get tickets beforehand through Ticketmaster. You have until Thursday at 5 p.m. to preorder, but be prepared, you may leave empty handed. In fact, you had to go stand in line this past Sunday at noon, when tickets were first made available, to get into the more popular events. Apparently at my local Ticketmaster location, more than 50 people were in line an hour before it opened.

If you didn’t get a chance to go to Ticketmaster, don’t despair. The festival holds onto 15 percent of the tickets to distribute on the days of the festival. Each venue also has a stand-by line; just go early. Moreover, there are these outdoor stages that do not require tickets. That’s where you can see T. Jefferson Parker, Robert Crais, and Michael Connelly read and discuss their books. The Children’s Stage is where all the celebrities will be: Henry Winkler, Rhea Perlman, Barney, Billy Crystal, Julie Andrews Edwards, and John Lithgow (will this trend never end?).

This year 1 p.m. on Saturday looks like the panels’ prime-time hour. Joan Didion will be in conversation with L.A. Times book review editor David Ulin; Michael Connelly and Robert Crais will be talking to each other; Ayelet Waldman will be part of a panel on "Fiction: Reinventing the Family." And more.

Authors wonder on how they can get on a panel. The festival is not organized by the L.A. Times Book Review section or editorial staff; you have to approach the festival directly by four to six months earlier. If you need more info, I would suggest you ask this mystery writer, the queen of connections in L.A. Because of some personal stuff that was happening around the holidays, I dropped the ball in trying to get on a panel, but I’ll be signing at a number of booths. With 60,000 individuals who have some interest in books milling about each day, it’s an amazing marketplace.

For example, my easiest book sale ever occurred at the festival last year.

Naomi to a passerby who fit her series reader profile: Hey, you should buy this book.

The passerby, opening his wallet: Okay.

As easy as that. And as Hollywood goes, there’s always a sequel, so turn in tomorrow to hear perspectives from participating booksellers, publishers, and more authors!