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On genre, sort of.

by Alexandra Sokoloff

I know, I know, everyone’s at the beach, I’m talking to myself, here. I’m too tired from the move to even think about going to the beach, so I will just type quietly to myself, which does not even require getting out of bed, by me or the cats, who don’t look too inclined to get out of bed, either. (I think half the stress of moving is seeing how much it traumatizes your animals, no matter how much you try to explain what is happening and that it will be all right, eventually…).

I did a post on my own blog this week on editing that apparently surprised some people because my rewriting advice was less about punctuation and a lot more about doing “genre passes” – that is, doing several rewrites that focus specifically on heightening genre elements in your book: a comic pass for comedy, a suspense pass for a thriller, a sex pass for a romance (all right, emotional pass, if you will…)

And then some of the comments on that post sparked a whole discussion on another website in which someone who had read my blog was fuming about the idea of having to know the genre of your story while you are still in the process of writing it.

I don’t know, it seems kind of important to me.

I understand the reluctance to be pigeonholed. I think it’s a symptom of the new writer, mostly, because anyone who has written professionally has long ago come to terms with pigeonholing (Did they send a check? Then they can call it anything they want).

But I don’t understand the reluctance to be associated with the great books that are your story’s antecedents. I really don’t understand the seeming reluctance to even KNOW what books are your story’s antecedents. We all stand on the shoulders of everyone who came before us – which is why I went into such raptures about meeting Richard Matheson last month. But then, so did F. Paul Wilson, whose shoulders I also stand on, who specifically gave tribute to Matheson as one of the greats whose shoulders Paul is standing on…

You have to know what you’re aspiring to.

The challenge of genre is delivering something unique and compelling within a proscribed form.

Now, I happen to be grateful for a proscribed form, because it gives a shape to a story from the very beginning, and let’s face it, when you first embark on a project, story is a vast and amorphous mass, or maybe that’s mess. Any signposts in that chaos are lifesaving.

But also, the form is proscribed because genre fans are paying their money to get a certain kind of experience, which your publisher (or the film studio) will have promised through the advertising of the story – the jacket design, the flap copy, the one-sheet, the trailer.

Does that make those readers lemmings? Because they’re expecting and wanting a certain experience?

I don’t think so. It’s just personal taste and preference, and a consumer’s desire to know what you’re paying for up front. When I have time to go to the movies I don’t want to be forced to sit through bubbly (well, perhaps I mean airheaded) romantic comedies when I could be watching a good thriller. I know myself, and I know thrillers (horror, mystery) consistently hit my pleasure buttons, and I don’t have that much free time to gamble two hours on a movie or eight to ten hours on a book that may not give me the basic escapist pleasure that I’ll get out of a well-written or well-produced thriller.

But the danger of genre – or perhaps what I mean is, what I am finding unnerving about it – is the lengths to which storytellers seem to feel they have to go to stand out in the field.

Yesterday I did something I do periodically: I took about a dozen books – thrillers – from my TBR pile and read the first few chapters of one after another, not letting myself go beyond three chapters (or four, if they were very short chapters). Just seeing what caught me and why. (Great exercise for people getting ready to send out queries and chapters, right? Do yours stack up?)

Some really well-written things there, and some not so much, and no, I’m not about to name names.

But I have to say I was unnerved – and maybe I mean something stronger – maybe I mean revolted or repulsed – by the level of violence that these books started out with. Not just rape, but multiple rapes, brutal slaughter, torture, mutilation.

These were not horror novels, mind you. They are new thrillers. (And the word “rape”, much less “serial rape”, does not appear in the jacket copy of any of them, otherwise they would not have been on my TBR pile to begin with).

And yes, I did flip through the books to see if that level of violence continued. It not only continued, it escalated.

Now, I know that the success of SAW started a bad, bad trend in horror movies. I remember one very strong impetus for me to write my first novel was when I had a film executive in a meeting turn to me and say: “And then let’s have him rip her face off.”

That was when I realized I’d better make other career plans, at least until that trend mercifully died.

But can someone tell me when thrillers turned into torture porn?

I write dark stuff myself. But do serial killer novels really have to have body counts in the dozens these days? Do we need to be subjected to whole chapters of real-time torture or rape?

I wish I WERE going to the beach today, actually, because I feel like I need to be washed out, and like maybe I need a whole ocean to do it.

Rape and child abuse are horrific things. Maybe these authors feel they need to escalate to the extreme to fully convey the horror of the experience.

Or maybe they are distancing themselves from the real-life horror of the by making the violence over-the-top to the point of absurdity.

Or maybe they’re scared that they can’t write well enough to stand out without butchering dozens of characters at a time.

Or maybe that’s what the reading public wants these days and I’m just in denial about it.

I don’t know – what do you think? Does “dark” these days mean continual mayhem and slaughter?

Maybe I’ll go see a couple of bubble-headed comedies. Because suddenly, it looks like there’s not a whole lot around the house that I’m interested in reading.

– Alex

——————————————————————

It’s July 4, and I really should say something relevant, right?

When I was sixteen years old, I was an exchange student in Instanbul. There were a lot of hard things about that experience, but one of the hardest was being out of the country on the 4th of July. That was surprising to me, because as people around here have probably figured out, I’m one of those subversive radicals.

It’s a terrible irony – and tragedy – that the Declaration of Independence was written in a time of legal slavery, when women were considered property as well, and written by a man who “owned” slaves. But that summer out of the country I realized what a profound concept drove the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

It’s that Pursuit of Happiness that really sunk in for me that summer.

It was a violent time – students had been shot in political protests on college campuses, and as a blond American teenager I was sexually harrassed constantly and sometimes in fear for my life.

But that summer is when it clicked for me – that life is short and precious and I decided if I ever made it back to the U.S.  I was going to live my birthright as an American and pursue my happiness.

And when I came back to college I majored in theater instead of law or psychology or anything else practical I’d been thinking about.   Because life is short, and we have the right to happiness.

Happy Independence Day to all, whatever that is for you.

Richard Matheson, my father, and me

by Alexandra Sokoloff

I was at the Horror Writers Association Stoker Weekend last weekend (you’d think that it would be a BREAK in touring to be in one place for three days straight, but I’m still recovering).

It was a fabulous time, but the truly transcendent moment for me was meeting Richard Matheson.

We all meet authors all the time, now (and in Hollywood, directors and actors, too). And I’ve had many episodes of fan girl limerence. But there are certain people who loom so large in your conscious and subconscious and unconscious being that even when you’re in the middle of a perfectly adult conversation with them, they don’t seem quite real. They are simply mythic.

Richard Matheson is that for me.

There are several layers of that, too. Obviously the man is a giant in the genre of supernatural thrillers, combining horror, the psychological thriller, mystery, suspense, fantasy and sci fi into one classic novel and novella after another, that spawned one classic film after another: THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN, I AM LEGEND, WHAT DREAMS MAY COME, A STIR OF ECHOES, HELL HOUSE, DUEL, NIGHTMARE AT 20,000 FEET – and pretty much every TWILIGHT ZONE episode that springs to mind when you think of the series.

I read those books so early on I can’t even tell you how old I was… they were always there in the shelves of our house because those were among my Dad’s favorite books. Even before I was old enough to understand them I was drawn to the covers with images of a man battling a giant spider with a needle that was for him as big as a sword… that creepy, twisted Hell House… some terrible creature on the wing of a plane.

So Matheson is for me inextricably linked with my dad. He is my father’s age, and has the same luminosity of spirit along with those dark imaginings, and together they shaped my own tastes in reading and later in writing.

Dad has given me many other writing gifts besides Matheson. That library of his included everything Bradbury, Poe, Burroughs, Le Fanu, Stoker, Shelley and Asimov ever wrote, plus the complete Alfred Hitchcock Presents series of anthologies, and many other lesser-known fantasists.

Dad grew up in Mexico City after his family had fled first Russia and then Tokyo (after losing everything in the Tokyo Earthquake). Put mystical Russians in a country like Mexico and the combined total of magical realism is truly off the charts. So even though Dad grew up the son of a scientist and dedicated himself to science himself, he has a love of the ghostly that has nothing to do with the laboratory. I and my siblings grew up with campfire stories of La Llorona (Mexican ghost) and Baba Yaga (Russian witch) and Quezacoatl (Aztec feathered serpent god) that Dad made sound as they’d really happened just a few days ago. It’s no wonder that my grip on reality is a little – loose.

But at the same time I learned from his scientific bent (he’s a biologist and geneticist) and love of research. Even though I write fantastical situations, I have to believe they really could have happened that way, so I’m obsessed with how and why paranormal events actually occur in real life, and how I can bring the most realism to the spooky scenarios I write.

I was also blessed that from the beginning my father never had the slightest doubt that I was every bit as smart and capable as any boy out there, or, truth be told, clearly superior. I never, ever had any feeling that I was second best because I was a girl. That should be a given, but even now, NOW, it’s still not how many young girls grow up, and I’m grateful to have been raised that way as a matter of course.

One of the greatest joys I have as an author is that my father takes such pleasure in my stories. Not the fact that I’m a writer; it’s nothing so material as that. He just loves what I write, and reads my books over and over again, just as he read Poe and Matheson and Bradbury. And that is an amazing thing – that I’M now on my father’s shelves, with all of those giants that he introduced me to.

I was so thrilled to meet Matheson on Father’s Day week because it brought something full circle for me. My dad opened the door to this fantastical world to make it possible. Those worlds and those giants, and this magical author world as well, are real to me now, because of him.

Thanks, Dad, and I love you beyond worlds.

So, ‘Rati, what was on your fathers’ shelves? What gifts did your Dads give you that made you writers? And/or – tell us about a legend you’ve met!

And a very happy Father’s Day to all the Dads.

– Alex

(In a fit of overextension, I’m also guest blogging at The Lipstick Chronicles today, and if you’re in L.A., I’m signing at the great The Mystery Bookstore in Westwood at 11 am.)

twitter vs. facebook vs. myspace vs…. oh holy hell, how do you internet

by Toni McGee Causey

And yes, I’m using internet as a verb.

Now, this is not a post about whether or not we should spend our time on the internet utilizing things such as twitter, facebook, myspace, etc. I’m taking it as a given that:

1)    there are a whole bunch of people who are on the internet on social sites because they like to interact with others. (My genius, it astounds you, yes?)

2)    there are a whole bunch of other people who are not on the internet because they think social sites are either a waste of time or boring or masturbatory and they believe that the onset of this fascination with having to post constant snippets of what we’re doing throughout the day is the indication that our society is in a freefall of decline. (#doomedsocietyfail, for you twitter only people.)

3)    and since that group #2 isn’t on here to voice their opinion, I will give you the brief versions of their objections, translated into site-specific-speak so they will be counted:

a)    Twitter version of objections:   u ppl suck, u spnd 2 mch time u shd B wrkng

b)    Facebook version of objections:   The Non-Internet People would like you to know that they participated in sixteen hundred charity walk-a-thons, cured three thousand and twelve diseases, adopted five-hundred and forty-two dogs and one cat, were kind to children and little old ladies, and smelled actual real flowers today. What are you doing?

c)     MySpace version of objections:   You wankers.

That said, social sites are here, and we all (the rest of us), seem to like them. We could debate whether or not the sites are a good thing or a bad thing, whether they are, in fact, the signal of the imminent destruction of the fabric of society or a source of information and a creation of bonds across socio-economic boundaries or whether or not it’s really important that you know that Joe Q Public had accidentally shaved his left eyebrow today, (which might be a handy thing to know if you ran into a one-brow guy in an alley, you’d understand that glowering expression was a demonstration of his embarrassment and angst at having been caught with just one brow and not an indication that you are about to die at the business end of a bloody pipe)…. ANYWAY… we could debate all of that.

But what I really want to know is how do you interact?

I have been online since… hmmm. ’94. Not exactly the first wave, but not long after. I’ve blogged (we used to call it “journaling”) for over ten years now (and wish I had all of those archives). When I first started writing a journal online, there were maybe a thousand people putting their life and thoughts up on the internet and there was a huge debate about it (a) being a fad that would dissipate within a year and (b) that no one would want to read the thoughts and observations of someone’s personal journey and (c) it was too hard to do, because we had to code by hand. In fact, I remember the first WYSIWYG editor I used and noting that some people who shall remain nameless (Kymm Zuckert, I love you) who was one of the very very first journallers online had an “edited by hand, WYSIWYG is for pussies” note at the bottom of her journal. I learned more about my career from the internet and friends I met there than from every bit of school I ever had combined. I’ve stayed on top of hot topics and learned the most interesting (and random) bits of facts. So for the record, I kinda love the internet with a gooey chocolate-covered fervor.

Right now, though, I am dating Tweetdeck. I like the program for its obvious attraction—I can open both twitter and facebook in its own column. For twitter, I can open a column where I see replies directly to me (and unless I close the program, they stay there, so if I’m away from the computer for a day and come back later, I can see that someone replied). I can see direct messages. (The plus to direct messages is that none of us can spend hours on email exchanges—these have to be 140 characters in length. The downside? Tweetdeck does not let you send a direct message to someone unless they are following you. So if you are following them and want to respond directly and only to them, you must send it publicly via an @reply, and sometimes, I just don’t wanna.) The advantage I have with Tweetdeck is that it automatically refreshes, and I can leave it on in the background and scan it at a glance, see the conversations, jump in where I want, or go back to work.

Tweetdeck also has a feature that lets you post simultaneously to Twitter and Facebook. This, to me, was a good thing—if I’m posting some observation (random), it’s generally meant for both groups. Sometimes I am responding to something on Twitter, but I want my friends on Facebook to see it, too, because it is a link to something I think is either funny or interesting. However, if you leave that damned little Facebook box checked, Tweetdeck will post everything you reply to over to Facebook… particularly “re-tweets.” (For the uninitiated, “re-tweets” is the ability to see a tweet from someone else, click a button and send that item out to all of your own followers—with the designation “RT @originalpersonhere” in front of the tweet to indicate just who posted the original item.) 

(It has been pointed out to me that a lot of Facebook people really do not like the double-identical posts, even the ones where it is an original post. Um. Oops.)

What I really do not like about Tweetdeck is that I can see the Facebook status updates in a column, but I cannot post a comment there without it pulling up my browser and opening a new window. If I’d wanted multiple windows open, I wouldn’t need Tweetdeck, now, would I? I also cannot see my email account, which, in a perfect world, would be open in another column. (I have heard about Google Wave… but as  Mary Frances Makichen  pointed out in a link to a review (that I have now lost), it may have real issues of linearity—which means, it may be very difficult to follow conversations. The real benefit right now of Twitter and/or Facebook (I rarely check Myspace) is that they are linear. The conversations are relatively easy to follow, or backtrack if you’ve lost track. Google Wave may address this issue, since it has been pointed out to them from beta testers.)

So, while dating Tweetdeck has been nice, I think it may be my temporary boyfriend. I’m looking for something that’s handier, does everything in one place, and allows for cross-platform interactivity. Yes, I know, I want it all.

Which leads to a wide open set of questions today (answer as many as you’d like):

1)    Do you Twitter? Facebook? Myspace? All three? Have a preference? (post links people!)

2)    Which is your favorite? Or is your time evenly divided?

3)    How do you interact? Regular browser open to that page? Some application?

4)    Do you think interacting on these sites has helped your life? Interfered with your productivity? Sucked up too much time? Helped your career?

5)    If you had to make a wish list for everything that a social-site-interface would do, what would you love to have incorporated?

 

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling… Keep Them Dogies Rolling…

By Cornelia Read

I am a bad, bad ‘Rati again this week. I’m sitting here late on Saturday morning (well, okay, technically ten minutes into Saturday afternoon…) and just getting around to posting. I’m on the edge of my bed, which needs to be stripped and all the sheets and stuff laundered, looking at five open duffle bags with crap spilling out of them, two laundry buckets, a pile of about thirty framed photographs, my daughter’s guitar and foot locker and two large suitcases from school back east, all of my china, and an eight-foot by ten-foot rug with a map of Centre Island, New York, on it which my grandparents needlepointed together in about 1970. I’m trying to decide what goes into my new storage space, and still have to go back to my old house to get the two-drawer file cabinet filled with my writing and collected letters from the last thirty years or so, and go to my friend Sharon’s son’s middle-school graduation barbecue party this afternoon, then meet my mom tomorrow to move down to her house for the rest of the summer. And I’m wondering if the work on my old house will get done on time, and whether anyone will buy it, and whether I’ll be able to make the rent on my new apartment in New Hampshire until the next time I get paid, and meanwhile wondering what the hell happened to my life, in general. Oh, and what I’m going to be doing for my fourth novel.

Basically, I’m forty six years old and starting over. Completely. Which will probably turn out to be a good thing, but at the moment it’s kind of scary–like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff with my toes curled over into the abyss below, and all my pals are telling me that it’s going to be totally fine to jump, because the wind is strong and they’ve got my back. And I kind of believe them, but still, it’s A CLIFF, you know?

Which for some reason makes me think of the following scene from Apocalypse Now. “Someday… this war’s gonna end….”

What would really help right now is to hear some stories about times when you guys had to start over, and how it all turned out okay. I’d be deeply grateful to anybody willing to share one of those, just about now.

Murderati’s Gift List for Dads N’ Grads

by J.D. Rhoades

It’s that time of year again…the time when corporate America, half a year away from the Christmas bump, starts nudging you to spend some of your hard earned green on the father or graduate in your life. (Not that I’m complaining, mind you).

As we know, crime writers and dedicated crime readers sometimes have tastes that are, shall we say, a little different. So for that father or graduate in your life who’s also an aficionado of murder and mayhem, here are some gift ideas:

 

From SUCK UK comes Dead Fred: the pen holder.  When those last few revisions or copyedits are made, take out your frustrations by plunging your favorte writing instrument into the heart (or other organs) of this little man made of “silicon rubber”. Pretend he’s that guy who wrote the nasty one-star Amazon review!  From the people who brought you Splat Stan!

If your new graduate is moving out of the house (and ‘fess up, you’re praying that they are), they’re going to need some stuff for their new digs. For the kitchen,  may I offer  “The Ex” stainless steel knife set and holder from CSB:

 

A real conversation starter (or possibly stopper) for your next dinner party. Show the guests the cook is not to be trifled with!

Or perhaps, the Evidence Chef’s knife from Perpetual Kid:

“The perfect accessory to the crime,” promises the manufacturer. The blood, they also assure is, is “food safe.”

I’ve always said, nothing says “get out of my kitchen!” like a bloodstained knife.

With all those knives around, you know that, ah, accidents could happen. For the big “accidents,” I’d suggest good legal counsel. for the little ones, however, there are the Crime Scene Bandages:

 

For the Dad or grad who’s a Hitchcock fan, you can  pay tribute to the famous scene that makes you think twice about bathing with the “Blood Bath” shower curtain and matching bath mat:

 

These sanguinary accesories may not guarantee that all your guests will come back..but it will assure you that the right ones will!

For inside the shower, there’s the Guns and Roses soap from Better Livng Through Design: 

 

Make every kill a clean kill!

As for me…well,  you know me. I ask for nothing. I give and give and never take. It’s the way I am. But if you insist…

 

So, what are you getting YOUR Dad or graduate for this most festive of seasons?

 

To e book or not to e book, that is the question

by Alexandra Sokoloff

Can I just first say that I’m writing this on Friday June 5 and NOBODY in New York is answering e mail or phone calls?   All I get is “Out of Office” replies.  Did something happen that I don’t know about?   The Apocalypse, or a holiday, something?

(Somebody e mailed me: “It’s called The Hamptons.”  Good grief.  And they say California is laid back.)

Can I then just add that every muscle in my body is sore, and that’s just from driving?   I mean, it’s not like I’ve been climbing mountains or river rafting or any of those other – things – that usually give me these industrial size bruises.   How do you get bruised from driving?

Hmm, I have another marathon driving day today.   This could get ugly.

All right, what was I going to talk about?

These days as far as blogging goes I’m a lot more comfortable tallking about craft, but no craft today, because I’ve been Out There for the last two weeks, promoting THE UNSEEN.  As we all know, we authors drop everything to do with writing when the book is released and we have to go Out There and promote.

Call me a masochist (and you’d be about 20 percent right, maybe less, maybe more like 10 percent), but I kind of like the frenetic physicality of promotion.  

I like Mapquesting all the bookstores on the way to whatever signing or con I’m on my way to and doing the hit and runs.   Drivebys.   Whatever.   I like the adrenaline rush of running in and signing stock and being charming… more or less.   I like the ever-changing scenery, I love being alone on the road and not having to think, or being able to sing intricate harmonies to any number of songs for ten hours at a stretch; I especially like being able to justify buying and drinking five or six frozen mochacchinos a day, which is, like, a week’s worth of calories I think; and I really, really like having a great excuse for not writing.

Although I am beginning to suspect that I may be doing myself more harm than good when I try to do bookstore loops at That Time of the Month.    I don’t THINK I killed anyone on the drive from NY to Virginia, but I wouldn’t swear to it in court.   It’s a little worrisome.

Anyway, desperately trying to get to my topic through this fog in my head – I was in NY signing THE UNSEEN at the Book Expo America, where it was very, very, very, VERY obvious that our industry is in a state of transition.  

This would be my – God, this is pathetic, but – either third or fourth BEA – I just can’t keep track of these conventions any more.    It was definitely the smallest  BEA I’ve been to – far, far, fewer people on the floor, and alarmingly few galleys.    Macmillan and Dorchester didn’t have booths at all.   And I was told by sales people from several different houses that hardcopy galleys are done – it’s all going to be e galleys from now on.   Some of the authors in the chutes had only 20 or 30 books or galleys to give away.

Which means we all have fortunes on our shelves, I guess!

Attendance at BEA was apparently down 33 percent.    Well,  66 percent of humongous is still pretty damn big.   And I think the smaller size helped those of us who were out there working it – the Mystery Writers of America booth was positively MOBBED because we had books when even the pub houses who had booths didn’t have the giveaways, and the Horror Writers of America booth got some great traffic as well, even though it was only our second year of participation.  

It was thoroughly great to be there – just as always I felt I got a half a year’s worth of business done in a weekend.

However, I had one overwhelming impression of the show this year.  It was pretty obvious to me that e books are the inevitable future.   And I can be slow that way, let me tell you.   But the future is now.

I talked with a lot of librarians who say e books are becoming more and more popular, and of course libraries can stock MANY more titles that way.   And that is the whole point.

I have no particular insight about it, except that I can tell you that while I was drifting around BEA, it felt like the e book revolution had already happened, and people were just trying to get their bearings, and figuring out how to deal with it.

When I was on strike with the rest of the WGA, the screenwriters’ union, the central focus of the New Media issues was delivery systems.    Well, this is what we’re talking about with the Kindle and the Sony reader.  I’s a delivery system.   The content is ours.     It still has to be great, it still has to be vetted and edited, or good God, someone might take a chance on a download, but if it’s crap, no one’s ever going to download another book of yours again.   But it’s possible that we are going to have more control over our content, and have to assume more responsibility for getting it out there, than we ever imagined when we were just going into this book thing… but at the same time we are going to get more of a percentage of it than ever before.

Which is kind of thrilling.

Other of the Rati have blogged much more intelligently on Kindles and Sony readers and all that than I am capable of at the moment, especially because, well, I don’t have either of them and don’t have much to say about them.  But I did, instead of rambling on like this, want to link to what I think is a VERY interesting blog by Joe Konrath about his recent e book experiences.

I don’t myself have a “shelf book” – every book I’ve written so far has been published or is scheduled to be.  And i strongly believe that every book you put out should be your best work.   I would think that publishing “shelf books” – unless you are POSITIVE that that book is every bit as good as everything else you’ve published – carries the danger of diiluting the reputation we’re all trying to build for ourselves.   Not a great idea, in my opinion.    How does that saying go?   “The secret of being a great photographer is you throw away the bad pictures.”

Same with writing.

But there is a book I’m thinking of going “e” with.  It would be an interesting experiment.

Only – I guess that means I actually have to buy one of those things and figure out how to use it.   Could be a problem.

Are these thoughts going through your heads, too, ‘Rati?   What do you think?   And are there any dedicated a book readers out there who will weigh in on this for us?

Now, on the road again!

– Alex

(In between driving I’m doing a non-type A, unKonrath kind of blog tour for THE UNSEEN.   This week I have stops at Murder She Writes, where I talk about character archetypes:  “Goddesses in Everywoman“,   and my friend Diane Chamberlain’s blog, where I talk about location: the haunted house that I used in THE UNSEEN and how growing up in California influenced me as a writer.)

Bruno Bettelheim: Satan in Drag

By Cornelia Read

 

I apologize for posting so late–it’s been a circus of a week. This is an essay I wrote about ten years ago. I’ve been thinking a lot about the subject matter lately, for reasons I plan to go into in my next post here in two weeks, so I’d like to start out with this piece as background.

 

This is a review of a book I have not read.

The book in question, titled The Empty Fortress, was written by Bruno Bettelheim. I bought a copy of it in hard cover two years ago, and it sits on the bookshelf in the living room, in a stretch of books on the same subject. All the rest of these are well-thumbed, some I know nearly by heart. The Empty Fortress, however, has remained untouched by me.

I plan to read it, but I cannot utter the more familiar phrase that “I would like to.” I detest this book and its author so intensely, in fact, that I could only bring myself to buy the book used. I had to be certain that no money of mine would benefit even Bettelheim’s estate, now that he is, thank God, deceased.

I like to think of myself as a kind person, one capable of forgiveness and mercy and compassion. For this man, however, I have nothing but unadulterated contempt and hatred. I am, in fact, sorry that he survived the Nazi concentration camps. This is a shocking thing to admit, even to myself, but in his subtle, remorseless way, Bettelheim took all that was most foul and reprehensible about Nazi cruelty and twisted it for his own use against children, families, and, most especially, women in America for decades.

Before I had children of my own, I knew of Bettelheim in a vague way–his name was familiar to me as someone who merited inclusion in the liberal arts canon. He is today perhaps best known as the author of The Uses of Enchantment, in which he attempts something of a Freudian deconstruction of well-known children’s stories such as Little Red Riding Hood.

As a parent, however, I feel that this man is no less deserving of my disgust than is the author of Protocols of the Elders of Zion. This is because Bettelheim made it his life’s work to publicly accuse me and thousands of women like me of destroying our children with emotional cruelty so intense that we make Medea look like Donna Reed. In his works, Bettelheim has proclaimed that I have all the maternal qualities of a Nazi concentration camp guard, an infanticidal Shakespearean king, and a child-cannibal witch.

I beg to differ.

Five years ago, I gave birth to healthy twin girls, Grace and Lila. I remember being constantly amazed in that first year, as they grew and tested out the world, at how many thousands upon thousands of little things must go right in order for human beings to become fully realized. Fingernails grow to perfect curves, the heart is formed to beat just so, limbs unfurl and become stronger by the day, and little by little, the brain comes online, discovering itself and all around it.

It was so fascinating to see how different each of the girls was from the other. Grace had thick black hair from birth, while Lila’s blonde fuzz soon fell out. Grace’s quiet, placid demeanor was most always upstaged by Lila’s demanding hunger for attention and everything new. They raced one another to master each baby milestone, so carefully checked off each month against the list from the appropriate chapter in What to Expect the First Year.

We were proud of their compliance with all the books and charts and pediatricians’ comments. “Such big, healthy babies,” carried almost exactly to term, a birth with no complications. Each girl was in a high percentile for height, for weight, for head circumference, at every checkup. Each was visible proof of our great love for them both, of our tremendous luck and the smiling favor of the universe. When I spoke with friends who were single, or having trouble with fertility, I was embarrassed by my good fortune. Two babies, after all, bursting with health… how was it that I deserved this glorious bounty? Strangers on the streets of New York would gaze adoringly into their carriage and say “God bless you” to me in hushed and reverent voices.

Looking back at their baby books, so painstakingly filled out when they were little enough that I had time for it, I see again that Lila mastered most of the developmental hurdles before Grace did: smiled, reached, rolled over, sat up, crept, crawled, stood…

The pediatrician was worried about Grace, made a few comments that she needed my attention as much as Lila, though she was quieter–Lila more agile and demanding. She said so most pointedly when she entered the examining room during one appointment to find that I had Lila standing up on the examining table, grasping my hands, while Grace lay beside her. I had been so proud that Lila had conquered gravity at such an early age, months before the books predicted, that I had wanted to show off for the doctor.

The doctor berated me for ignoring Grace, warned of dire consequences. I blushed and was on the verge of tears, thoroughly ashamed of myself.

So when Grace, at around her first birthday, started to take off, we were relieved. Twins, we supposed, took turns at being the leader, and as we relaxed, we realized we had been more worried about little Gracie than we had admitted to ourselves. She began to use words, to attract our attention to things she was doing and trying. Soon she was walking, with Lila right behind her, and the two of them played together and made one another laugh.

I remember this part, because I have video of it. There’s one scene that was so funny: the pair of them sitting in a cardboard box, the container for a case of Pampers. The two kids, aged about 15 months, are wedged in this thing knee to knee–laughing at one another and rocking the box around, then each looking up and laughing at us, inviting our attention.

I don’t like to watch this anymore, though I’ve shown it to some people since. It’s too much for me, really, because it never happened again—that the kids were equals, pals, enjoying each other. If you watch the rest of the tape, the little bits and vignettes captured from that year, you see things change, slowly, inexorably, like the way each wave breaks a touch further down the beach as the tide goes out or the sky darkens by imperceptible degrees in the evening. Perhaps it’s most like watching those old science class films of a flower blooming in fast motion, only it’s running backwards: it is Lila who is slipping out of the picture, out of her self, out of the world. She was snatched away from us as surely as the changeling babies of folklore, who are kidnapped by fairies while their parents sleep, replaced with idiot fairy babies identical in appearance.

And it happened so gradually that we didn’t notice, or maybe refused to, until a friend we hadn’t seen in months called following our visit with her and her family.

I don’t know how to tell you this, she said to my husband, but we were watching PBS last night, and there was a show on and it was about kids who were just like Lila, and it was about autism.

We were in the midst of moving East, after a stint in Colorado, and he and I talked about it long distance, as I looked for a place to live with the kids in Boston, and he wrapped up the last details of his old job. She’s crazy, we said. She’s always been a hypochondriac, remember when she said that other thing? Of course she was overreacting, she was Lila’s godmother and that’s just how she was. The only trouble, of course, was that she was right.

And thank God this woman, my dear friend, had the courage to make a nuisance of herself, because no pediatrician or nurse practitioner or anybody else ever noticed, through all the regular well baby visits and vaccinations and time spent measuring and prodding and checking during that year that my kid was being sucked out of her body. I can now spot the signs of autism in a kid after spending about a minute and half with him or her. But the first professional I spoke to about it said, as Lila lay huddled on the examining table, rubbing a piece of lint and staring off into space, “If your kid&
rsquo;s not sitting in a corner spinning plates, you have nothing to worry about.” I know she’d never be so cavalier with a parent who suspected leukemia. I remain shocked that she felt we deserved less.

I am so very grateful, though, that the majority of professionals no longer think this is a psychological disorder caused by cold, overly intellectual parents. Well, let’s not pretty it up… by mothers. The official phrase was “Refrigerator Mother,” first suggested by Leo Kanner in the early Forties, and staunchly propagated as the cause of autism for decades by none other than Bruno Bettelheim.

Bettelheim, a Viennese lumber salesman who’d studied art history at university, passed himself off as a psychologist with multiple graduate degrees when he arrived in Chicago after the Second World War.

He made his name by claiming that he knew exactly what caused autism, since he was, he claimed, an expert on the subject– this because he had seen his fellow prisoners in Nazi concentration camps “become autistic”: out of touch with the world, withdrawn, careless for their own nourishment and safety.

He knew that the only thing which could cause this appalling transformation in a child was a mother who created conditions so fearsome, so hideous, that they replicated the conditions of Auschwitz or Bergen Belsen or Theresienstadt. He called his well-received book on the subject The Empty Fortress, to drive home the “fact” that an afflicted child had to so devote every resource to defending itself against the mother, that there was nothing left within the castle walls.

“I would stress,” wrote Bettelheim, “that the figure of the destructive mother (the devouring witch) is the creation of the child’s imagination, though an imagining that has its source in reality, namely the destructive intents of the mothering person…. Throughout this book I state my belief that the precipitating factor in infantile autism is the parent’s wish that his child should not exist.”

Having anointed himself Torquemada in this latter-day Inquisition, Bettelheim was feted by the cream of his colleagues and given the directorship of The Orthogenic School for disturbed children under the auspices of the prestigious University of Chicago. And because he wrote plainly and convincingly, he popularized his misogynist ravings to such an extent that he was invited to write a child care column for The Ladies Home Journal, which he did from 1968-1973.

The impact of Bettelheim’s life and work on the families of autistic children, especially their mothers, was prolonged and cruel. As Catherine Maurice, mother of two children with autism, writes in her seminal work, Let Me Hear Your Voice:

“Months after reading the work I spoke to a vibrant woman whose daughter, now in her twenties and living in a group home, had been diagnosed in the heyday of Bettelheim’s influence and prestige. Everyone, she told me, believed him. The parents believed what the professionals told them, and the professionals believed Bettelheim. No one questioned his authority. The psychiatrist had ordered her to bring her child in for ‘analysis’ five days a week. The mother was not allowed to sit in the waiting room, so incensed with her was the doctor’s staff. The nurses and receptionists informed her that she could drop the child at the door and wait for her outside. They never looked at the mother and refused to say hello or good-bye. She had caused this terrible condition in her child, and she merited no human courtesy. She told me that many a day she had stood there–whether in sunshine, in rain, or in sleet–weeping.

“’How did you survive?’ I asked her.

“’I survived,’ she said softly. ‘Some others I know didn’t.’”

Another couple, the Pollacks, who had a son attending Bettelheim’s school, were devastated by the accidental death of their son when he was home visiting them. The boy fell through a trapdoor in a barn hayloft, where he had been playing with his brother and other children, and plummeted to his death on a concrete floor some thirty feet below.

In a meeting with Bettelheim shortly after this tragedy, they were assured by him that the death was in fact their fault. Bettelheim had warned them, he recounted, that the boy must not leave the premises of the school, despite their insistence that they share some vacation time with him as a family. Their son had so despised them, the “good doctor” explained to the grieving parents, that at the age of eight, he had committed suicide rather than further suffer their company.

Recently, the Pollacks’ second child, Dick, wrote an outstanding biography of Bettelheim–more balanced and objective than I could ever manage.

Bettelheim himself has been discredited in the years following his death, both for his physical and sexual abuse of the children placed under his care, and because his supposed academic credentials have been exposed as wholly fraudulent. But the impact of his ideas lives on like a nasty virus.

Most damaging, from my perspective, are the time and resources wasted as a result of his influence: the grant monies (from such sources as the Rockefeller and Ford Foundations) and energies of earnest graduate students hoovered up over the years by Bettelheim and his fellow charlatans. And by convincing the world that autism was a psychological disorder, a patent falsehood, Bettelheim ensured that serious research into its true causes, still unknown, would be cut off at the knees for decades.

It was not until the early seventies, in fact, that Bettelheim’s stranglehold on the field of autism research was broken, by a man named Bernard Rimland. Rimland’s fourth child, a boy, developed autism. Rimland also happened to be a respected psychiatrist. How was it, he wondered, that he and his wife had managed to raise three perfectly healthy “typically developing” children, if they were such monsters as to afflict their youngest boy with autism? When contacted by Rimland with these and other questions, Bettelheim did not deign to answer.

Rimland has since done yeoman work in the trenches of the war on autism, founding both the Autism Society of America and the Autism Research Institute. His youngest son, Mark, now in his thirties, is still ravaged by the disease. It was Mark Rimland, in fact, with whom Dustin Hoffman spent time in preparation for his portrayal of an autistic savant in the film Rainman.

Other celebrities have become very involved in fundraising and publicity for autism research. Of course, as is usually the case, their commitment is motivated by personal experience: Beverly Sills has an autistic child, as do Sylvester Stallone and Doug Flutie. Neil Young has two. As a family, we find ourselves in brilliant, if involuntary, company.

We will continue, as these parents do, to devour every bit of information we can on the topic of autism, hoping against hope that each new lead, no matter how fragile, will turn out to hold an answer for our daughter that will return her to us. We will all scour the internet and professional publications, and crowd the auditoriums when researchers and clinicians speak at conventions around the country.

I know, too, that I will read every book on autism I can get my hands on. But not The Empty Fortress. Not yet.

And I know that I am a lesser person for it, but I hope that Bruno Bettelheim is rotting in hell.

 

How about you ‘Ratis? Is there any book you refuse to read? Or a book you have read that really set your hair on fire and made you gnash your teeth?

ESP, parapsychology, Zener cards, research, and THE UNSEEN

by Alexandra Sokoloff

Hmm, something big is happening this week… if only I could…

Oh, RIGHT!!! The Unseen is out on Tuesday! THIS TUESDAY!!!

The Unseen is a book that has been percolating for a long, long, LONG time.

I’m sure a good number of you recognize these:


The Zener ESP cards.

I don’t know about you, but just the sight of those images gives me a thrill. Maybe I mean, chill… because it’s all about the unknown. Do we have that sixth sense, the freaking power of extra-sensory perception, or do we not?

Well, parapsychologist Dr. J.B. Rhine said we do. All of us. And in the late 1920’s, on through the 1960’s, he used the brand-new science of statistics to prove it, in controlled laboratory experiments that made him a household name.

I have no idea how I first came to hear about this, but then again, I grew up in California, specifically, Berkeley – and astrology and Tarot and meditation and anything groovy and psychic was just part of everyday life.

And it was very, very early that I first heard of Dr. Rhine and the ESP tests. In fact, my sister the artist made a set of her own Zener cards when we were in just fourth or fifth grade. I swear, it was in the air.

Here’s the principle: take a pack of twenty-five Zener cards, five sets of five simple symbols: a circle, a square, a cross, a star, and two wavy lines, like water. Two subjects sit on opposite sides of a black screen, unable to see each other, and one subject, the Sender, takes the pack of ESP cards and looks at each card, one at a time, while the Receiver sorts another set of cards into appropriate boxes, depending on what card s/he thinks the Sender is holding and communicating.

Pure chance is twenty percent, or five cards right out of a deck. Because if you have five cards, chance dictates that you would guess right 20 percent of the time.

So anyone who scores significantly more than 20 percent is demonstrating some ESP ability. (The Rhine lab generally used 5 sets of cards for each test run).

You can try it online at any number of places, including here.

And seriously, don’t we all – or haven’t we all at some point – think we have some of that? It’s kind of seductive, isn’t it?

Now, what Dr. Rhine was doing with these Zener cards was truly revolutionary. By the 1920’s the whole world, pretty much, was obsessed with the occult and spiritualism, especially the idea of life after death and the concept of being able to connect with dead loved ones on whatever plane they were now inhabiting.

There were many factors that contributed to this obsession, but two in particular:

1. Darwin’s publication of THE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES, in 1859, which began a worldwide anxiety about whether there was any afterlife at all… and a fanatic desire to prove there was… especially among some scientists, interestingly enough.

And

2. The Great War, or as we know it now, WWI, in which so many people died so quickly that traumatized relatives were desperate to contact their lost – children, to be blunt – infants, as in “infantry”, underage cannon fodder – and have some hope that they were not lost for eternity.

The Great War really kicked spiritualism into high gear.

This was the age of “mediums”, most of whom were total frauds, con artists who used parlor magician tricks to dupe grieving relatives into believing their lost loved ones were coming back to give them messages – for a hefty price.

Well, (after a brief stint in botany and an abrupt switch to psychology) Dr. J.B. Rhine began his career debunking fraudulent mediums. His commitment to the truth won him a reputation for scientific integrity and a position at the newly established parapsychology lab at Duke University in North Carolina, the first ever in the U.S., where Rhine and his mentor, William McDougall, embarked on a decades-long quest to use the brand-new science of statistics and probability to test the occurrence of psychic phenomena such as ESP and psychokinesis (the movement of objects with the mind).

Using Zener cards and automated dice-throwing machines, Rhine tested thousands of students under laboratory conditions, and by applying the science of statistics to the results, came to believe that ESP actually does occur.

Rhine’s wife and colleague, Dr. Louisa Rhine, conducted her own parallel study, in which she gathered thousands of accounts from all over the world of psychic occurrences and followed up with interviews, from which she isolated several extremely common recurring patterns of psychic experiences, such as:

Crisis apparitions: in which a loved one appears to another loved one at a moment of extreme trauma or death.

Precognitive dreams: dreaming a future event.

Visitations in dreams: a dead loved one coming to a loved one in her or his sleep to impart some crucial bit of information.

Sympathetic pain: in which a loved one feels pain in a limb or elsewhere in the body when another loved one is injured in that place (often this is birth pains that a female relative will experience when a daughter or other female relative goes into labor).

The Rhines’ daughter, psychologist Sally Rhine Feather, has written a fascinating book on the above called THE GIFT, which was extremely helpful in my research for The Unseen.

Now, most people who read about the paranormal and parapsychology, even casually, are aware of Dr. Rhine and his ESP research. But most people are not as aware that researchers in the Duke lab also did field investigations of poltergeists, starting in the late 50’s and early sixties.

Poltergeists!

I don’t know about you, but that just rocks my world. What ARE they? Are they the projected repressed sex energy of frustrated adolescents? Are they ghosts? Are they some other kind of extra-dimensional entity? Is it all just a fraud, a fad, perpetrated by people who wanted media attention before the advent of reality TV?

So I’ve always wanted to so something, sometime, about the whole Rhine/Duke/ESP/poltergeist thing.

And then a few years ago I was visiting Michael in North Carolina and, as he is wont to do, he handed me a column torn out of the newspaper about a lecture on the Duke campus called: “Secrets of the Rhine Parapsychology Lab” and said, “You should go to that.” Because he knows I like that kind of thing, but he had no idea that I’ve been obsessed with Rhine since I was – seven, eight, whatever.

And I did go to the lecture, and I was stupefied to learn that after the parapsychology lab officially closed in 1965, when Dr. Rhine reached the mandatory age of retirement, seven hundred boxes of original research files were sealed and shut up in the basement of the graduate library, and had only just been opened to the public again.

Is that a story or what?

All those questions that instantly spring to mind. Why did the lab close, really? (Well, in truth, Dr. Rhine retired. But what if…) Why were the files sealed? Was someone trying to hide something? And most importantly What the HELL is in those boxes? SEVEN HUNDRED boxes?

So you know that question authors love: Where do you get your ideas?

That’s where I got my idea for The Unseen. From the double extra large Southern man I live with. Get yourself one, they’re worth the trouble. Most of the time.

But it all started with a childhood obsession and years of random research on the subject that suddenly caught fire with some specific field research and one choice factoid.

So the lesson here, I think, is –

Forage widely. If a lecture at a library or university sounds intriguing, take a chance and go. You might get a whole book handed to you. And just always be adding to those open files in your head of potential projects. Read voraciously on the subjects that interest you. All this random research does eventually achieve critical mass, and suddenly you have a book.

We are so lucky as writers that our JOB is to pursue the things we’re passionate about. Take advantage and enjoy the hell out of it.

So now, for those of you who find the above intriguing, and/or who like your mysteries with a touch of the real-life uncanny, and/or who have gotten something out of my story structure posts, or who just love me in general, here’s your chance to show the love. Go buy The Unseen from your favorite independent bookstore RIGHT NOW, or if you can’t bear to think about getting dressed today, from Amazon(and then go buy great greeting cards and other people’s books from your favorite independent bookstorethe next time you’re dressed and out of the house. If ever. Because I’m hardly one to make assumptions about that.).

And if you have no money at all, don’t despair, because first, you’re not alone, as I think we’re all painfully aware these days…

And second, we all still have the great gift of our public libraries. Go online right now and reserve The Unseen from your local library. If they don’t have it yet, please please please – request it. Libraries have suffered cutbacks just like the rest of the known universe, but before the crash, the formula was that a library would buy a new hardcover for every five patrons who requested the book. So that is some truly powerful support you can give to your favorite authors: request a book, and that’s one-fifth of a hardcover sale, at no cost to you. Believe me, it really, really helps. (In fact, why not check out books by ten of your favorite authors every time you go to the library? I do, every single time. And I’m at the library A LOT.)

And now it’s your turn: tell us about a project that caught fire with the perfect research factoid. Or about a subject you wish you could find a thriller or mystery about. Or, on a completely different track: have you ever experienced a crisis apparition, a precognitive dream or visitation, or sympathetic pains? Or do you know anyone who has? Do you believe these things happen?

Have a great Memorial Day holiday.

And I hope you enjoy The Unseen.

– Alex

(I’m doing a very laid back, non-Konrath, un-type-A blog tour in between running around doing the physical tour thing, so check my Screenwriting Tricks for Authors blog if you’d like to drop in!)

Reading to Myself

by Rob Gregory Browne

Damn.  

There's nothing like a good book is there?

I mean, I love movies.  I love great television shows.  Going to Broadway plays is one of the highlights of my trips to New York…

But there's nothing, nothing like a good book.

Years ago, when I was in my twenties, I went to Las Vegas with my wife and her family. I like to play craps — which, once you know the rules is a lot of fun — but I tend to get bored with gambling quickly, so I usually have a book along with me to read while everyone else is rolling the bones.

This time, however, I had neglected to bring one, so I strolled on down to the Union Plaza casino gift shop and started browsing through the racks until I found a book called RED DRAGON.

As most of you know, RED DRAGON is the first (and best) book by Thomas Harris to feature the world of Hannibal Lecter, although Lecter only makes a brief appearance in the story.

Anyway, once I started reading RED DRAGON, I couldn't stop.  Harris hooked me and hooked me bad, and I spent most of the trip sprawled across the hotel room bed, my nose buried in the pages.  Between that and cheap buffets twice a day, I must've gained ten pounds over the weekend.  

But I didn't care.  I just wanted to read.  To completely immerse myself in the story Harris was building. And I got in so deep that nearly everything else around me ceased to exist.

It's like that with every good book I read.  Once I'm hooked, all I can think about is getting back to the author's world to find out what his or her characters will do next.  And when it ends, I'm both satisfied and sorry.  A good book makes me want to stay with those characters forever.

And so it is with writing.

I'm coming to this realization late in the game.  I'm sure most of the writers here (and just about everywhere else in the world) have already figured this out a long, long time ago, but it just recently occurred to me that when I sit down to WRITE a book, I'm essentially doing what comes naturally:

I'm reading to myself.

After so many years of reading other people's books and getting an almost orgasmic enjoyment out of it (yes, I said it.  Orgasmic), I — like most writers — have taken the reading experience to the next level and have begun reading to myself and writing it down.

Some unconscious part of my brain is dictating the story to me, immersing me in its world and pushing it out through my fingers and onto the computer screen.   

I like to pretend I have control over it, but I really don't.  That's why characters like Solomon from WHISPER IN THE DARK started out as a walk-on only to insist on becoming a major force in the story. That's why when Blackburn got hit with a particularly emotional blow, I started to cry.

When I'm "writing," I'm in so deep that I'm merely a spectator, a passenger on the train, no more in control of where it's headed than I am when I'm reading someone else's book.  The only thing I DO control, in fact, is the language.   I'm constantly refining the language — but again, that comes from a place so deep that I sometimes wonder if I control even that.

When I've finished writing a book I'm drained.  Emotionally and physically.  And just as I do when I read a good book, I feel satisfied and sorry.  Even when the experience is nerve-wracking and scary and utter hell, I'm sorry to be leaving that world — which is never the same again once you re-enter it.

All the control returns during the polishing phase.  I say polishing because that's all I really do once the book is done.  I take my editors' suggestions and buff the thing up, because most of the grunt rewriting work has been done during the first draft (I "rewrite" as I go).

So, in the polishing phase, after the majority of the work is done, I feel relaxed and confident and completely in control.  And not nearly as deep into the thing as I was the first time around.  It's much like rereading an old favorite that I'll always have a fondness for.  An almost melancholy return to an old haunt.

But that first time around, it's all about reading to myself.

So it makes perfect sense to me that many readers go on to be writers.  I've met quite a few people who haven't read more than one or two books in their lifetime and say they want to write a novel.

Uh-huh.  Good luck to you.

Because unless you love reading as much as we do, I doubt you'll ever reach that particular goal.

Because, let's face it.  If you don't like reading other people's work, the chances are fairly slim that you'll ever start reading your own mental dictation.

And that, as they say in Hokey Pokey-land, is what it's all about.

Finn

by Pari

If there's a dog heaven, I hope it's filled with rawhide chews.

There'd better be long grassy spaces perfect for fetching tennis balls, damn it. And someone to throw them nonstop.

It has to have warm ponds to swim in and jackrabbits to chase, soft sand to roll in and bushes to sniff.

I want to — today I need to — believe that creatures that bring so much joy while alive can experience reciprocity tenfold in death.

Our dog Finn died on Saturday. His demise was swift and came far too soon. At almost six years old, our yellow Lab should've had at least that much more time to romp and poop. Instead, on New Year's Day while running after a ball, he passed out. The next day we learned, in one of those surreal and awful moments, that he had a serious heart block. The only treatment option was a pacemaker . . . if we could even find someone in NM to do it and/or if we could afford it.

The decision wasn't ours to make.

When our vet came over to give Finn another EKG last Friday, he told us nothing had gotten better. We weren't surprised but thought we'd have more time with our beloved friend. We could keep him happy and loved. He could still visit his favorite rocks in the neighborhood and mark them. We'd cherish our time with him and make sure he didn't suffer at all.

The vet warned us that Finn's death would probably come when he got excited, so we walked more softly and didn't make extremely loud noises. None of our efforts worked well. Finn loved to jump and bark and greet people as if they were the most important beings in his doggie universe. He was just too damn happy to settle down.

The vet went on to say that we should prepare our children since Finn's death would most likely be traumatic: he'd jump up in joy, convulse with a heart attack and keel over.

Finn didn't die that way.

Saturday morning, he woke up frisky. My husband Peter took him for a good walk and came home optimistic. Finn hadn't had a single fainting spell. Peter went to work and the rest of us went about our business. At around noon, I noticed Finn on our couch. He looked a little odd. I petted him and watched him sleep, his breathing slow and regular. Fifteen minutes later, my younger daughter came into my office and said, "Mom, Finn looks funny. His tongue is hanging out and he's not responding."

It was that simple, that pure.
That heartbreaking.

— — —
Here is a video from Mass by Leonard Bernstein. I love it not because of its religious message, but because of the tune. The music consoled me and continues to.