Author Archives: Murderati


Gotcha! Being interviewed by the media

Pari Noskin Taichert

I have a friend who sold her book for a news-grabbing sum of money. She’s a former reporter and was mortified when her peers misquoted, misrepresented, and even made up things in their articles about her.

Poor dear, she wasn’t thinking like a PR pro at first. Believe me, she is now.

When I’ve written features in the past, I’ve preferred to craft upbeat pieces for publication. I know other journalists with the same aims: to find and write interesting, informative stories. But there’s another beast in the news business: the reporter who believes dirt is more interesting than Ivory Soap. This animal is always looking for the Gotcha! It’s that moment when a reporter smiles, knowing she’s got an unanticipated tidbit to run with, and the interviewee’s guts turn to mush.

Here are some tips when you’re talking with a reporter you don’t know, don’t know to trust, or don’t trust based on his or her previous work:

1.   Know what you want to say. No matter how smart you are, winging it is just stupid.

2.   Be in control. This doesn’t mean you grab the mike from a reporter. Au contraire, know the image you want to convey and then figure out how you want to do it. Otherwise you’re at the mercy of someone who may not have your best interests at heart.

3.      Don’t prattle. The reporter is not your friend.

4.      THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “OFF THE RECORD.”

5.      You can record a phone conversation or interview if you’re concerned about being misquoted. Just inform the reporter or writer.

6.      Don’t ask to review a story before publication; it’s offensive to the reporter and won’t serve you well.

7.      Develop talking points — two to five items that you always come back to—to keep control of the interview.

8.      Practice and role-play to become accustomed to quick questions and to ensure you don’t say things that can be horribly misinterpreted or make you sound like a dope.

9.      Use your mirror and a practice audience to critique your answers and how you deliver them (extra “ums” and “uhs” are as bad as looking away from the reporter in what could be construed as evasion).

10.  Hire a media trainer or consultant if you’re in a position where you’ll be interviewed on television more than once – or nationally (wouldn’t that be nice?). There are former reporters in most communities that run workshops or consult for a fee. Insist they bring television cameras, lights, a big mike and a bad attitude — to put you through your paces.

I’m not trying to make you paranoid here. Even pros forget some of these rules.

When BELEN came out, I had an interview with a reporter in Belen, NM. I blew off every one of these rules and ended up with a nasty feature article – front page in the paper.

That’s once.

Although the public doesn’t remember many things, a bad news story usually sticks around a lot longer than a good one. Don’t mess up for lack of preparation. Don’t give any reporter the satisfaction of a Gotcha!

A Panel Discussion

With the Malice Domestic conference starting this coming Friday (and please, say hi if you see me there!), perhaps this is the time to discuss the importance of panels. No, not the panels that are hugging the walls of your den, or the ones that apparently wear blue ribbons and tell the government how it can screw up less often, but are never taken seriously. No, I mean the panels that a convention attendee might… attend… to hear a discussion on some aspect of the mystery publishing biz.

These generally have a topic that’s relatively open-ended, like “If Your Sleuth Owns a Cat,” “If Your Sleuth Is A Cat” or “Hard Boiled Vs. Cozy: What’s With the Cats?” A group of (usually) authors (sometimes) editors and (very occasionally) agents discusses the topic at length—for 50 minutes—and then takes questions, assuming there are any.

Panels can be a great deal of fun, can sometimes be informative, and are a swell way to rest your feet after traipsing around the convention all day. They’re great for authors, because we get to hawk our work ruthlessly (without any ruth at all) and hopefully introduce ourselves to readers who might not have heard of us before.

Authors love being on panels, and try very hard to get a good spot at the convention. There is much talk among authors about what time of day, which day and in what room each one’s panel might be held. The one thing you can count on is that no matter which day, time or room the author has been assigned, they will believe it to be a lousy one.

(I hasten to add here that the panel I’ll be on at Malice, with my blogmate Denise Deitz acting as moderator, is exactly the one I’ve always hoped I’d be on, the time is swell and I have no idea what the room looks like, aside from the fact that it’ll have four walls and some chairs. It’s called The Role of Humor in Mysteries, it will take place at 10 a.m. Saturday with my fellow panelists Parnell Hall, Karl Fieldhouse, Jeffrey Marks, Sheri Cobb South and Barbara Workinger, and I sincerely hope that if you’re in the area, you’ll drop by. Every word in this paragraph is sincere.)

If you’ve never participated in a mystery convention panel, let me give you a quick look at the process going on inside the author’s head while the panel is going on. It’s less a stream of consciousness than a tidal wave of self-consciousness, but it’s reasonably accurate, give or take some exaggeration:

I wonder why they seated me on the end. It’s because nobody’s ever heard of me; I know. There are at least 50 readers out there, right now, asking themselves who that curly haired guy with the beard on the end is. “Cohen? Jeffrey Cohen? Isn’t that my dentist’s name? Or was that the guy I went to grammar school with, the one who’s an accountant now?” That’s what they’re thinking. It’s because I’m on the end.

Damn. I shouldn’t have worn this jacket. The sleeves are weird—too long, or too short, or something. Stop playing with your cuffs! People are watching you! And now they’re wondering who the curly haired guy with the beard is, and why he won’t stop playing with his cuffs.

The other authors on this panel look a lot more relaxed than I am. Look at them. That guy actually brought six of his books—six! And all his books stand up so well on the dais. People can see the titles and everything. How come my book won’t stand up? Does his publisher use better cover stock than mine?

Smile! People are looking! You don’t want them to think you’re not happy to be here, do you? But don’t smile too much! They’ll think of you as the grinning jack o’ lantern, and the next thing you know, you’re the curly haired bearded guy with the itchy cuffs who looks like a jack o’ lantern.

The moderator’s introducing me. Nod to the audience with a friendly smile. Friendly, not psychopathic! Pretend to be modest about your meager accomplishments. Aw, pshaw. That’s it.

Damn! That other author stole the line I had prepared! Now what am I going to say when they ask me a question? What made me think I could come up here and just wing it?

What? Oh, a question. Speak, but don’t hog the microphone. This isn’t the Jeff Cohen Show, you know (not that it would be such a bad idea… ). Easy, there. You don’t want to come across as egotistical. Hey, this is actually enjoyable. Ask me another question.

Who’s that in the front row? She seems to be smiling in my direction. Is it someone I’m supposed to remember? I’m terrible at faces. I hope she’s wearing a name tag if she comes up after the panel. But then, if I stare at it, she’ll wonder 1) if I’m a pervert and 2) how come I’m looking at her name tag when I should remember who she is. Either way, I’m…

What? Oh, sorry. Another question. They’re asking everyone on the panel for an answer, and I wasn’t listening to the first two! Suppose I say the same thing!

Stop playing with your cuffs!

Oh man: I’ve answered two questions and I haven’t mentioned the name of my book! Nice marketing there, pal. Now, how am I going to work it into a question about the role of cats in mysteries? There are no cats in my book! Wait, though: there is a dog. Two dogs. Maybe I can work it in that way.

Damn! That guy is being funnier than me! I hate that! I’m supposed to be the funny one, right? Who asked him to step in? Okay, so the people who run the convention did, but that’s beside the point! If I’m not the funny one, which one am I?

Oh, yeah: “the curly haired bearded one with the cuffs who grins like a jack o’ lantern and isn’t that funny. And what was the name of his book, again? I don’t think he’s mentioned it. I’d write it down off the cover, but the thing won’t stand up for more than two seconds at a time.”

I’m trying to listen, really! This is actually a very interesting topic, but I’m so caught up in projecting an image that I’m forgetting to be part of the group. It’s time for the audience questions. I hope someone asks one I can answer.

Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. Yes, I can understand why you’d ask that author a question first. She’s sold tons more books than I have. What am I even doing on a panel with her, anyway? And him, and her, down in the last chair! I’m way outclassed! I should be on a panel about “Authors Who Deservedly Toil in Obscurity.”

What? A question for me? Answer spontaneously—don’t think about it. Hey! I got a laugh! They liked it! This is getting to be fun, now!

What do you mean, it’s over? We were just getting started! Oh, all right. Stand up, shake hands with the other panelists, head toward the signing area, where you can examine the complex workings of a ballpoint pen while the others sign books for the hordes of devoted fans who will show up at their tables. It’s been fun. Say thank you to the moderator, who really did a swell job. Talk to a few audience members.

And stop playing with your cuffs!

Getting To Know You…

JT Ellison

Getting to know all about you…

Tra-la-la. Be glad you don’t hear me singing it. Just try to
imagine the dulcet tones of Deborah Kerr in Rogers and Hammerstein’s
classic, The King and I. I’m not quite sure why that song popped into my head
when I wrote the title for this week’s blog, but it’s fitting.

How well do you really know your characters? Are you really
as intimate as you should be?

Coming up with a character is easy. You give them a name, an
occupation, and a reason for visiting your story. Developing that character
into a living, breathing, vital aspect of your manuscript, one that
successfully propels your story forward, is another phenomenon entirely.

There are a few things that are an absolute for me when I
develop a character. The most important is a name. As I begin writing a new
manuscript, I make a cast list. All the main characters are there, as well as
all the secondary characters. Everyone who is going to make an appearance in
the story is named and accounted for.

A couple of rules that I like to follow when it comes to
developing character names – One, make the name pronounceable. Two, especially
for secondary and tertiary characters, make their name fit. If you’re writing a
story about white slavery, an unhappy stripper named Tatiana will convey the
message more effectively than an unhappy stripper named Jane.

Where do the names come from? I’ll admit, there have been
the times, (in the past, of course, cough, cough,) I’ve been in a pinch and
looked to my reference bookshelf. I pick a first name and last name at random.
Problem is, when you’ve been working on a manuscript for four straight months
with the same bookshelf of reference material, you’re going to duplicate
yourself. I was caught by one of my readers. I’d used Richard Curtis and Curtis
Richard. For shame. Now, I use every available resource. Magazines like Maxim
and FHM always have great names. There are websites that use algorithms to mix
and match names to degree. You get the drift – finding sources to pull from is
easy.

Since I’ve recently started on the third Taylor Jackson/John
Baldwin manuscript, I’m familiar with my main characters and the people they
work with on a daily basis. Secondary characters that are making their
second or third appearance are simple to keep up with. But the new primary and
secondary characters need defining, and I need a new list of tertiary
characters and one-timer throw-in names.

My very first step is to build the list of names. In my new
book, there is a big cast of secondary characters. A big cast. My list has
sixty-eight new character names on it. I know I’ll use up at least twenty-eight
right off the bat. I have a new character who has a whole team behind her, so
there’s another nine. See where I’m going? I never want to be left out in the
cold when it comes to naming my characters.

Unfortunately, as well intentioned as I am with my cast
list, there are characters who pop up unexpectedly and announce, “Hey, I’m
here. This is what I’m going to do to wreck havoc on your story. But I need a
name, please.” Hence, the pre-built characters list.

What works for me is to name my secondary characters off the
bat, but leave some of the tertiaries for later. That way I can satisfy my
spontaneity gene and grab a name at random a few times through the book. Now
that I’m a little wiser, I only take it from the proscribed list of tertiary
character names, rather than inventing off the top of my head.

But what’s in a name? There needs to be more to make a
character come alive.

Some characters are so big and bold, they parade right out
of your mind onto the page with no effort. Some need to be coaxed a bit. For
the reluctant characters, there are a few absolutes that must be answered
before they get to show up in print. The first things I decide on are age, hair
color and eye color (subsequent to race), height, weight, and level of
education.

While it’s generally easy to define a character by social
class and educational status, I have the joy of writing books that are based in
Nashville, Tennessee. This is a southern town, and there are many
colloquialisms here that can be misinterpreted by outsiders. Brilliant,
well-educated people here use terms that Yankees would deem dim-witted at best.
I try to be especially careful when I dip into that particular well. It’s a
unique issue that’s been written about by many more capable writers than I.
Suffice it to say you need to be aware if you’re writing regionally specific characters.

Back to building a character. Age, looks, race, education
and socio-economic status are first. Those are the main ingredients for me. Now
it’s on to the spices. I can’t say that I do the same thing for each character.
Some have more information on them than others. Some I know how they walk, what
they wear, how their hair is styled, whether they are straight or gay, who
their family is. Some I just have a mental picture of who they are. If they are
a one-timer, I try to be cognizant of their surroundings, so the character can
help me set the scene.

One of my writer buddies, J.B. Thompson, came up with a brilliant idea the
other day. She’s writing a book with an omniscient POV and several main
characters. The BMW’s (my critique group) were having trouble keeping all of
them straight, and we badgered her to do something about our inability to “get”
who was who. (Many times, POV problems are a result of not knowing your
characters as well as you should. If you know exactly how your character will
react in a certain situation, what they’ll say, how they’ll feel, your POV will
fall into place.)

Have you ever been sent an email survey by one of your
friends, the kind that has a huge list of questions that either you or said
friend must fill out? They ask detailed questions that are meant to show how
much you really know someone. My friend, in all her brilliant glory, decided to
fill out the survey as her characters. Since many of her characters are in
relationships or strong friendships, she allowed the characters themselves to
ask the questions of their friends and lovers. It gave her a stronger grasp of
who each character is and how they can be presented in the story to help us,
the readers, keep them straight. It worked wonderfully.

Another quick note on character building. One of the most
important questions I ask each of my characters is, “What do you mean to the
story?” A tertiary or one-time, one-scene character can steal the show. Let me
rephrase that. They should steal the show. I try to make my one-timers feel
special. Give them something important to do or say. You should never have a
character who doesn’t advance the story in one way or another.

Sometimes, even these tricks aren’t enough to really give
you a sense of who your characters are. Since we’re talking crime novels here,
let me point out that victimologies are vital to the success of your book. If
you don’t have a victim, you don’t have a crime, and you don’t have a book.
Making sure your victims are as well developed as your speaking characters
makes a big difference.

I tried something a little different in my last manuscript.
I had several girls who were killed. They were all in different states, and
they shared a physical resemblance. I was struggling with their deaths, mainly
because it’s so hard to kill someone in a book, no matter how gleefully we
might go about it. There was one that I felt so close to, it hurt me to kill
her. My protagonist was struggling with the issue, just as I was. I had him on
a plane, desolate, looking at the MISSING posters that accompanied each girl’s
disappearance. I envisioned him getting off the plane, going into his office
and tacking up the MISSING posters. Hmmm.

The next thing I knew, I was up to my, ahem, elbows, in
imaginary dead girls. There are a couple of glossy color magazines here in
town, so I went out and bought them, looked to the society pages, and cut out
pictures of girls that fit the killer’s profile. I then mocked up the MISSING
posters. Based on actual fliers from the National Center for Missing and Exploited
Children website, they each had a picture of the victim, all her particulars,
where she was last seen – all the information I needed to use to drive the
story and build the plot.

Since that worked so well for me, and my new manuscript has
the same kind of situation, I spent yesterday and today picking out my victims.
In the manuscript, these pictures go in a dossier for the antagonist to peruse.
They’ll go in a dossier in my files as well, so I can experience what my
character experiences as he looks at them. This has been one of the most
successful tricks I’ve learned. Dead characters deserve as much respect as
living characters. Bringing them to life makes it harder to kill them off, but
the goal is to create believable, sustainable characters for your readers.

I also make my setting, Nashville, a character unto itself.
I know people have received those constructive rejection letters that claim the
reader didn’t get a good “sense of place”. Make sure your setting is a
character just like your protagonists and antagonist, and you’ll never hear that
again.

Get to know your characters, and they’ll never let you down.
I’d love to hear your quirks and ideas for making your characters sing. In the
meantime…Tra-la-la.

Wine of the Week: Monte Antico Rosso – A Tuscan Sangiovese

 

I’m Nervous

My next book, Working Stiffs, is at a tricky stage of its lifecycle.  It’s out for reviews.  This is where I get nervous.  Publication isn’t far away and reviews are due.  I want to read all the good things and pretend that the negatives don’t exist.  At the end of the day, I want people to like what I’ve done and I’m disappointed if they don’t.  It has a lot to do with pride.  Hand on heart, I think I did a good job with the book.  My editor did a great job of getting the best out of me.  When he saw a weakness in the manuscript, he gave me great observations that spurred me on to do better.  So together, we created a book that people will enjoy and hopefully, a few will love. 

But books aren’t like math or quantum physics.  There isn’t a right answer.  Stories are valued subjectively.  One man’s blockbuster is another man’s turkey.  So I can say that I’m genuinely scared as I await judgment from reviewers.  I know a review is only one person’s opinion, but I want that opinion to be good.  I want to be liked for what I do.  It is important to me.  I liked writing the book and I hope the reviewers will enjoy reading it.  It’s a fair trade for everyone.

You’d think I’d be over this.  Working Stiffs represents my third book.  Generally, reviewer and reader feedback to my work has been good.  My first book, Accidents Waiting To Happen, got some great reviews, much better than I could have hoped for.  My short stories have been singled out for special praise when they’ve appeared in various anthologies.  So I should be calmer about these things—right?  Not really.  It gets tougher with every story and book.  I have to outdo myself.  What was good enough last time is the bare minimum the next time out.  I raise the bar for myself and subsequently put pressure on myself.

Reviews have made me a more considerate reviewer.  It’s easy to trash someone’s work and think nothing of it.  Writing isn’t an easy business.  Regardless of what people think about the crappiest of books, I don’t believe any writer goes out of their way to write a bad book.  It is bloody hard to come up with a story.  Some might get labeled a hack, but hack sums up writing pretty well.  Crafting a story sometimes feels like fighting a way through a jungle with a blunt spoon.  It requires determination and effort.  So reviewers, be kind.  We’ve worked hard for that thumbs down review.

All that gibberish said, I’m fairly confident people will like the new book—but don’t quote me on that.  I don’t want to come over as cocky or anything. 

Simon

A Mixed-Up Sense of Style

Naomi Hirahara

I’ve worn different hats in my life of writing, and I still do so today. I’ve been a newspaper reporter and editor, technical writer, p.r. flack, biographer, nonfiction writer, and now mystery author as well as a small press publisher and editor.

I have an Achilles’ heel, and I’m the first to admit it–I’m not the best copyeditor (or is it copy editor?). I don’t know if it’s because I’m a speed reader or that I’m more of a forest person rather than a single tree person. But one thing is for sure, wearing all these different hats sometimes makes my head spin, especially when it comes literally to dotting my I’s and crossing my T’s. Luckily I have some very talented copyeditors at my disposal who tell me what’s what.

When I worked in journalism, our bible was the revered Associated Press Stylebook. Spiral-bound, it informed us about whether we should use abbreviations St., Ave., or Blvd. (only with numbered addresses) or whether the phrase, "under way," should be one word or two (usually two). We were a small newsroom and I probably should have created our own stylebook, but there wasn’t enough time in the day.

In the book world, the publisher depends on the Chicago Manual of Style, a thick tome costs as much as it weighs (perhaps ten bucks a pound?). I don’t even own the manual but I’m fairly familiar with its style recommendations. In addition to using the Chicago Manual, the copyeditor creates her own style sheet which essentially is a handwritten list of how certain words in the book will be spelled and punctuated.

You can always contest an established style. For instance, I don’t like hyphenating Japanese American, Korean American, African American, etc., whether they are being used as nouns or adjectives. (That’s pretty much the standard for academics in the field of ethnic history. No hyphenated Americans here!)

Some book authors get irritated by the Post-Its that a copyeditor places on their manuscript to mark corrected pages, but I welcome them. Better to catch any possible mistakes now instead of later. If you don’t agree with a change, you just write STET, which is Latin for "to stand," and the judge, you the author, have ruled. No change. Case closed. The freelance copyeditor my publisher hired caught some important time-related continuity problems. And I’m eternally grateful to the amazing unnamed in-house proofreader who pointed out my inaccurate definition of the Japanese colloquialism, ronpari eyes, meaning wall-eyed. (I had described it in an earlier draft as one eye facing Rome, the other Paris, but it’s supposed to be London and Paris. I guess my European geography is weak as well!)

Here are the three elements of style that have been my bane in my jump from journalism to book publishing:

1) Numbers

Okay, after a decade in journalism, I had gotten it down. For whole numbers from one to nine, you spell it out. From 10 and above, however, you use numerals. Among the exceptions include ages, which you use figures in all cases, i.e. a 2-year-old. When I enter book writing, the rules completely changed. The Chicago Manual of Style wants most numbers spelled out, including World War Two vs. World War II.

2) Italicization

Forget all the underlining you learned in high school and college to site sources. It means nothing for both newspapers and book publishers. According to the Associated Press Stylebook, book titles should be in quotes; in the Chicago Manual of Style, they are italicized. Confusing!

And in my books, with all the Japanese words, it’s a typesetter’s nightmare. Italics abound. But not in all cases–those words in the latest edition of Webster’s dictionary (sake, sumo, nori, judo, Issei and Nisei, for example), are not italicized. These are now bonafide American English words. With each new edition of Webster’s, the language continues to evolve each year.

3) Punctuation

Oh, I haven’t had the nerve to read Eat, Shoots & Leaves after seeing how the book treats long dashes, also known as em-dashes. I had been hot and heavy in a nonfiction book project and was going back and forth with the designer on just this topic. I argued that there should be no space before and after the long dash; the designer wanted the opposite. Guess what Eat, Shoots & Leaves advocates? I guess it’s a British thing, along with humour, grey, cheque, single quotation marks, and the usage of quotes with punctuation marks. Ai-ya! I’m going to have to have my blogmate Simon Wood explain this all to me since I’m heading toward Rome but should be going to London. Contrary to ES&L’s style, we went with no spaces.

And I won’t get into commas and apostrophes, because now looking at my blog entry, all I can see are mistakes and style inconsistencies.

Let’s just end it here and I’ll say hooray for those who love to copyedit! Because that’s one sense of style that will probably elude me the rest of my life. And hope and pray that Murderati doesn’t adopt a uniform style–that will just add another set of rules that I’ll inevitably end up breaking.

A very peaceful Passover, Easter, and belated Spring Equinox to all.

NOW A LITTLE BIT OF SPAM: The following is an entry in my inaugural Mas Arai Spam Contest. From Liz Peck of Albuquerque, New Mexico: "Growing up, we had Spam with brown sugar and mustard, like a small, ‘pretend’ ham. I can picture Papa now (who cooked our meals) caring the Lilliputian size main course, just like a ham!" Send you Spam experiences to me and be in the running for a wonderful basket of goodies. See my website for details. I’ll be selecting one entry to be featured each week on Murderati until June, when the winner will be revealed!

MISSED-CONCEPTIONS

A gaggle of wild geese flew over my house this morning, honking their goosey songs; I swear one was singing "Oh, I’m just an ugly gosling…"

Mesmerized, I watched the honky geese until the sky was once again gray and misty, a gooseless panorama.

Then, suddenly, one last goose–flapping its wings like Jerry Rice in Dancing With The Stars–appeared in the distance.  As it [the goose, not Jerry Rice] flew over my roof, it gave one long, rusty honk, as if to say, "Yo, gaggle, wait for me!"

And for some reason I can’t fathom, it reminded me of the misconceptions I’d had about the pub biz.

Example: When I finished writing my first-ever book, THROW DARTS AT A CHEESECAKE [the title is from a quote on dieting by the late, great Gilda Radner; there were 4 lines in the quote, which, to me, meant 4 books in the series; I don’t "do" alphabets], I thought: Hoo-boy, a publisher will buy my book, I’ll quit waiting tables, and before you can say Jackie Robinson [Ellie Bernstein’s cat] I’ll be rich and famous.

Yeah, right.

There’s this little thing called "promotion," but I’ll save that for another blog.  All I’ll say, for now, is that my manager at The Olive Garden [where I waited tables] gave me an enormous cheesecake for my very first [mall] booksigning.  It attracted kids like a magnet.  "Is that free, lady?"  "Is that really free, lady?"  "Can I have a piece, lady?"  "Can I have another piece, lady?"  "Hey, y’all, this lady says the cake is free."

Where are your parents? I thought, as I watched a gaggle of pre-teens dribble cheesecake crumbs on the small stack of brand-spanking-new hardcovers waiting to be bought and signed.

Finally, a mom pushed a stroller up against my table.  "Is that a cookbook?" she asked, pointing to THROW DARTS AT A CHEESECAKE with her double wedge of free cheesecake.

"You could call it that," I replied, not quite lying through my fake smile, wondering what my royalty payment would be on one book.

Here’s another missed-conception: I honestly thought if I signed any left-over books [in the case of my first mall signing, that meant all but the one bought by the cookbook lady], the books couldn’t be returned to the publisher.

Yeah, right!

After a signing in Denver–where I quickly learned that you don’t schedule a booksigning opposite a Broncos game–I scribbled my signature on the dozen or so left-over CHEESECAKE hardcovers with a red pen.  I can’t remember why I used a red pen . . . maybe I thought red looked spiffy, maybe I thought it looked like, you know, blood.  It was the one and only time I signed with red ink.  Eighteen months later, at a signing in L.A. for BEAT UP A COOKIE [the second book in my "diet club" series], someone handed me a copy of CHEESECAKE to personalize.

It was already signed. . .

In red ink.

Next week I’ll cover fan misconceptions, subtitled: "Hey, I seen your books in the bookstore so you must be filthy rich."

Beatrice is poking my ribs with her elbow, hinting that it’s time to stop blogging, reminding me that when we were Girl Scouts [or maybe Brownies] we’d sing, "There were 7 in the bed and the littlest said ‘roll over, roll over,’ so we all rolled over and one fell out…"

Over and out,
Deni

Of Scotch and Smarties

Pari Noskin Taichert

Lately, I’ve been wondering why I write novels. Why do I put up with the struggle — the months of striving to get the story right, the realization that it’s not, the months spent to improve it, the worry that publishers will reject it — or that readers won’t ever hear of it?

Is it ego that propels me? Dreams of a solvent bank account? Mental illness?

You see, I’ve spent the last week drinking scotch, eating Smarties candy rolls, neglecting my family and pulling all-nighters . . . all to finish the first edit of the second draft of the first draft of my new manuscript.

This activity has consumed me. Days have passed. I’ve forgone exercise, declined the offer to test for my red belt in Tae Kwon Do, and stopped reading for pleasure.

Usually, I extol the joys of writing, the wonders of editing.

Hogwash.

I love being DONE.

Never before have I grappled so much with a story — and I’ve written four other manuscripts. Still, I remain galaxies from satisfied with this one. However, after one of the most grueling pushes in my life, I’m a little less horrified.

1. It all began a year ago when I wanted to start my new series. I had at least five great ideas for protagonists. Which one did I want to get to know better, to spend weekends with?

2. Procrastination pointed me to another Sasha Solomon book. First, it was going to be set in Placitas, New Mexico. Then, I decided to go to the town of Socorro. Then, I decided to give Sasha a project that took her throughout Socorro County.

3. But wait! I wanted to start my new series. Repeat # 1.

4. Repeat # 2.

After too much wasted time, I started THE SOCORRO BLAST. When it inched like a glacier, I had doubts. Had THE BELEN HITCH used me up? Why didn’t editors at the big houses want Sasha? What the heck l was I doing trying to be an author, anyway?

Repeat # 1.

Then, Iris Martin, the winner in that contest, insisted on telling her story in first person, present-tense. Nope. I wasn’t going to get trapped writing an entire book that way.

Go to # 2.

You get the idea.

In November, I asked a group of cyberfriends to be my cheerleaders. With their encouragement, I sat down and wrote the first SOCORRO manuscript in a single month. 300 + pages. Good, right?

The only problem was it was so incoherent – that I couldn’t edit it. Believe me, I tried.

Go to # 1.

If all this back-and-forthing is getting tiresome, imagine what it was like to live it.

In March, I wrote a completely new draft of SOCORRO. The only elements that survived from the first attempt were a couple of names and the locale.

Also in March, I learned about the Agatha Award nomination for THE BELEN HITCH and, rather than soar with the praise, I plummeted with insecurity.

My tactful agent gently asked how the new manuscript was coming. I told him I’d have it to him by April 1. April 5. April 6. Today, April 10.

Last Friday, I called my agent, hoping to whine. Lucky for both of us, he wasn’t in the office.

So, I decided to suck it up and be an adult, to be a professional. I stopped playing head games with myself. Sure, the plotting hadn’t come together. The words stuck to the page and oozed a weird yellowish muck. Sasha’s voice couldn’t be heard through my bludgeoning.

It didn’t matter; it was time to take responsibility for my job. That meant working from 5:30 am to 3 am that day. It meant the same schedule on Saturday, and working until 5 am this morning.

I did it.

I finished.

For this round.

Now, I can let the manuscript sit, or show it to my agent to get his sane and experienced advice. It’s headed in the right direction.

My new manuscript isn’t good yet, but it’s getting closer.

Most of the novelists I know write because they have to. It’s in their blood.

For me, it’s a question of scotch and Smarties – caustic and sweet. I’ve learned an important lesson with this newest manuscript: no matter how difficult the process, I can’t stop.

—– I’ll see you next week when I’ve had a little sleep.

… But Not Least

It’s not an easy assignment, following this crowd on their first posts, but hey, last aboard, last, um, aboard.  I guess.

For the countless millions of you who don’t know, I’m the author of a mystery series centering on Aaron Tucker, a New Jersey-based freelance writer who works at home, has a wife who works outside the home as a lawyer, has a son and a daughter and a beagle/basset mix from an animal shelter (the dog, not the children), is a bit below average in the height department and doesn’t take a lot of things seriously, at least outwardly. 

I am, on the other hand, a New Jersey-based freelance writer who works at home, has a wife who works outside the home as a lawyer, has a son and a daughter and a beagle/basset mix from an animal shelter (the dog, not the children), is a bit below average in the height department and doesn’t take a lot of things seriously, at least outwardly. Oh, and did I mention that both Aaron’s son and mine have a neurological condition called Asperger’s Syndrome?

Here’s why I’m not Aaron Tucker.

It’s a danger any writer assumes when giving a character any attributes or circumstances that are similar to his or her own.  It’s especially true when the books are written, as mine are, in the first person.  People assume they’re reading your diary entries, that you’ve changed the names and nothing else for the sake of propriety and that everything that goes on in the book (with the exception of the murder mystery, or the entire plot, in other words) is exactly what goes on in your home.

It’s why my wife is urging me to write another series, preferably about a gay French Canadian lumberjack who solves crimes when not felling the mighty Larch.

Writers use their own circumstances because writing a work of fiction is HARD. Coming up with a coherent plot, dialogue that sounds like a conversation and characters who aren’t made out of oak tag is difficult enough (as is evidenced by the heavy hand I sometimes think I wield). Inventing it all from scratch ups the level of impossibility and besides, the first book in the series was my first novel ever, and how the hell did I know people were going to, you know, READ it?

So you borrow stuff.  They say "write what you know."  I know about being what they call a "stay-at-home dad." (Do most dads live at the YMCA?) I understand the freelance writer’s daily routine.  I know a little something about Asperger’s Syndrome, and wouldn’t it be nice if people found out a little more about that, so they could stop treating my son like the Creature From the Black Lagoon?

But you only START with that.  Then, you add what we in the business call (and forgive me if this is too technical a term) "fiction."  You take what exists in your life and you exaggerate it.  Aaron’s wife Abby has, by his estimation, the most magnificent legs in the universe.  Men have been known to go into cardiac arrest upon catching a passing glimpse of them.  Does my wife have nice legs?  I think so.  Have I ever had to call EMS because she wore too short a skirt on a warm June day?  Not really, no.  And by the way, she practices an entirely different area of law than Abby Stein.  But I digress.

See, I traffic in humor, and exaggeration is a tool of humor. Without it, Inspector Clouseau would be a little clumsy, Jack Benny would have been a trifle reluctant to overspend and Woody Allen would have a couple of minor neuroses that he could work out on his own.  I’m guessing Mae West would have still had large breasts, but you never know.

The problem is, when I run into one of the seventeen people on the planet who have read my books (and I appreciate every last one of them, believe me!), they expect to find a man so short you need a microscope to locate him, and who has a clever remark ready in the blink of an eye for any occasion. (I write Aaron’s quips for him,and I can tell you honestly that some of them take hours. By the time he came back with his devastating wit, the person he was talking to could have hopped on a plane and made it to Venezuela.) Strangely, none of them ever thinks that I’d be good at solving crimes.

In my second Aaron book, A FAREWELL TO LEGS, Aaron is getting dressed to attend his high school reunion. He tells the reader, "(Abby) leaned into the closet (we have a lean-in closet in our bedroom, meaning that it’s roughly the size of a small refrigerator, so all you can do is lean in) and came out with the blue T-shirt, a pair of black jeans I actually fit into, and my black sport jacket, which is made of something that approximates suede without actually harming any animals to produce it."  Don’t worry, I actually have a point here.

Not long after the book was published, I was doing a signing at one of the chain bookstores near my home.  I’m used to such things, and expect that no one at all will attend a one of them, so I was pleasantly surprised to see three women, each carrying a copy of the book, approach the podium that the store’s employees had set up. They stopped dead in their tracks, and one of them pointed at me.

"He’s wearing it!" she shouted. "He’s wearing the outfit!"

That’s just what I mean about people taking the similarities between Aaron and me too far.  They were lovely people, all of them, and I enjoyed chatting with them about the books, as I always do with anyone who’s been kind enough to shell out hard-earned cash for a story I made up in my head.  But they were just dead wrong.

The T-shirt I was wearing that night wasn’t blue. It was aqua.

ON THE BUBBLE WITH DENISE HAMILTON

 

Denise Hamilton needs little introduction. I mean, you all know she’s been nominated for an Edgar, the Willa Cather and the UK’s prestigious Creasey Dagger, so why do I need to tell you all this anyway? Well, darlings, because I want to remind you what a terrific writer she is, and hush…don’t tell her I said this…but she’s one hell of a gal as well. I mean, even Publishers Weekly said – ‘Like Raymond Chandler, Hamilton describes California in gritty, lyrical prose…’ They said more, so get thee to her website. And when you get there, be sure to note what Denise is doing with Akashic Books and International Thriller Writer’s new anthology. But FIRST, be sure to pick up her new book-out now – PRISONER OF MEMORY – the fifth in the Eve Diamond series – where Denise, once again, writes what she knows – and encompasses her own family Russian heritage this time to bring you an espionage thriller par excellence!

And now – a few things you never knew about Denise Hamilton!

EE: How emotionally tough was it for you when you turned down Hooter’s offer of ten grand a week for a two-week appearance?

DH: My agent’s working on getting them up to twenty grand.

Ohh la la! My kind of gal!

EE: How do you spoil yourself?

DH: I read for pleasure after my kids go to bed. I read omnivorously, in mystery, spy thrillers, memoir, literary fiction, history. Just read an extraordinary book set in 1919 Siberia called The People’s Act of Love by James Meek. My mother was of Russian heritage (and I’ve liberally borrowed from my family history in my latest Prisoner of Memory) so I have a fondness for that part of the world. Next up: The Marsh Arabs, a very old book by one of those wonderful Victorian era Brit explorers. Since we are so involved in the Middle East, I want to read about the history of the part of the world that is now Iraq.

Terrific idea! The more we know, the more we can understand, and perhaps…well, never mind.

EE: Any truth to the rumors around L.A. that Melanie Griffin claims Eve Diamond’s lover, Silvio, is a dead ringer for Antonio Banderas and Melanie wants to know how you’re so acquainted with Banderas’ amorous style?

DH: Funny you should ask. Melanie Griffin and I actually attended the same high school for a time – Corvallis – a girl’s Catholic prep school in Studio City run by nuns that closed rather than go co-ed. She was two years older than me. She left school to marry Don Johnson!

Hmmm…I love the way Denise skirted my question, don’t you? We’ll have to revisit that one of these days.

EE: What best selling book do you wish you’d written?

DH: Purely for filthy lucre, the DaVinci Code, of course. For artistic transcendence as well as a fast-moving piece of commercial fiction, how about The Spy Who Came In From The Cold?

Ah, excellent choice! But then, your taste is always impeccable.

EE: My spies tell me that Mick Jagger offered you a private evening of love songs if you’d cast him in your next Eve Diamond book. Care to comment?

DH: My husband quickly put the kibosh on that.

LOL! Can’t blame him one whit. Mick may be getting long in the tooth, but I hear he’s still got that whatever it is about him.

EE: Okay, Denise –everyone has a Walter Mitty dream – what’s yours?

DH: This isn’t too Walter Mitty-ish, but I adore traveling and would love to be able to pick up and go ANYWHERE in the world with my family, without the contortions of balancing pets, school, work and finances, for long periods to experience different cultures. We were in Seville last summer, and that’s a place I’d like to spend more time in. Other than that, I’m pretty darn happy with my life.

Maybe not Walter Mitty-ish, but it’s a great dream, and I hope you’ll soon see it happen.

EE: Which sex symbol do you think you most resemble?

DH: I’d pick someone really noir, smart, funny and sexy from the 1040’s films. Barbara Stanwick, who plays a card sharp who seduces Henry Fonda in the movie –‘The Lady Eve,’ comes to mind. Someone like that.

Exactamento! Those Hollywood gals of that era still have it all over today’s pseudo glam’s. And Barbara Stanwick was one of the best. Another excellent choice. But then, you’ve got great style, so I’m not surprised.

EE: Talk around the book biz is that you turned down Oprah because she wanted to co-write your next best seller. What’s the scoop on that?

DH: Oprah, please call me at home to discuss this. We can still make it work!

Ohhh…call me after you talk to her, ka? I promise not to tell a soul.

EE: We in the mystery world know you as a lovely, courteous and generous person. But come on, Denise – you gotta have a vice. Go ahead and let it out. We’ll understand.

DH: I love to escape the real world by diving into books. This is not always a good thing. It makes me anti-social. And takes up most of my free time.

Drat! She skirted that one too.

EE: Okay, let’s try another one. While I know you to be gracious at all times, I’d like to think you’ve got a smidgen of a temper. Something must tick you off. Care to share?

DH: Oh, let’s see. L.A. drivers, people who give you incorrect directions and cause you to be 45 minutes late to a signing in a town you’ve never been to before, waiting on hold, incompetence in general, people who ooze insincerity, when my cat uses the sofa I’ve just had re-upholstered as his big $1,500 scratching post.

Whew. I feel better. You just covered a few of mine too! Especially incompetence and ‘insincerity oozers’. Hey, wait…I think you just coined a new word, Denise.

EE: Your reputation as one of the most engaging mystery writers is well known, but I’ve been told you’re an authority on Danielle Steel. Would you like to kill that myth? Or…gasp…can it really be true?

DH: I’m co-writing my next book with her.

No comment.

EE: Who would you love to do a book tour with?

DH: I love to tour with Julia Spencer-Fleming. We get along like a house afire, both have kids, love to gab. Sometimes we’re so busy dissecting a book or yakking about our stuff that we miss the freeway exits.

Well, you wouldn’t want me in the car – I’m totally direction challenged. I’m lucky to find my front door. But it’s great to know you and Julia have so much fun together.

EE: We’ve all got a bad habit of some sort. What’s yours?

DH: I drink too much coffee and then get quite anxious.

Well, it sure as hell doesn’t show up in your writing!

EE: Writers seem to have favorite words or phrases they constantly over use. Got any for us to avoid?

DH: She ‘headed’ for the door. Another little verbal tic I see all the time is: ‘She ‘filed’ that away for now.’

Damn, I’d better go check my new book and delete all of those.

EE: Who would be on your ideal convention panel?

DH: Well you of course, Elaine! Plus Oprah and Danielle Steel. Wouldn’t we have a lot to dish about?

Oh, honey, that’s a date! I’m ready! And did I say how flattered I am?

EE: Which writer would you like to have all to yourself in a cozy corner in the bar at the next con?

DH: Oh that’s an easy one! Neil Gaiman. His "Neverwhere" is one of my favorite books – takes place in an alternate London, a cat’s whisker away from our own, and yet completely different.

Okay, I’ll stand look out.

EE: Rumor has it that you’re not taking George Clooney’s calls anymore. Is it that goofy smile of his, or his penchant for acting like Harpo Marx?

DH: It’s nothing but a rumor. I greatly admire and respect how Clooney is using his Hollywood clout to get movies made that are profound, intriguing, provocative, intelligent. We need many more like him. Syriana was a bit too convoluted for me, but it was an important film for out time, raising questions that need to be in the public debate.

Damn! She did it again! I mean, I agree with all Denise said, but that wasn’t the answer we wanted, was it!

EE: Okay, we’ll get serious now. What’s next on the list for Eve Diamond?

DH: A standalone, set in 1949 Hollywood. It’s two years after The Black Dahlia murder and the Cold War and the Hollywood Blacklist are starting, the 1950’s and retrenchment of gains women made during the war are around the corner, gangsters like Mickey Cohen are having shootouts on Sunset Boulevard, the cops and DA are dirty, movie special effects are getting very interesting, and pow! A starlet is found dead in a ravine.

That, and I’m editing Los Angeles Noir, a short story anthology of all new work set in different neighborhoods of L.A. that features authors such as Michael Connelly, Janet Fitch, Naomi Hirahara, Paula Woods, Robert Ferrigno, Susan Straight and many others. It will be out in Spring 2007 from Akashic books.

A schedule not for the faint of heart! But then, you are, without doubt, one of Mysteryvilles very best – and speaking for myself, and your legion of fans, all best to you, Denise!

And many thanks for being such a good sport and going On The Bubble!

 

T.G.I.F.

Here
we are, the end of the first workday week of MURDERATI. Big thanks to all of
you that have stopped by with encouraging words and posted about us on your
blogs. We appreciate it.

I
thought I’d do something a little different today by way of introduction. My
story is fun, but it’s long, and it certainly isn’t going to help YOU get
published (or make money once you do). So instead, I’ve got something for the Newbies. A top ten list of things every serious unpublished writer must do.
Period. No whining. We’ll do my story another day, when it’s rainy and we’re
all bored. Suffice it to say that I have a great New York agent but no
contracts yet. Deal? Good. Let’s go.

Top
Ten Things An Unpublished Writer Can’t Afford NOT To Do:

1. The Organizations

  • The list of writer’s organizations is long and varied. Start here. Sisters in Crime (SinC) and Mystery Writers of America (MWA) take unpublished members. Yes, it costs money to join. (SinC $40, MWA $95). Just do it. Scrounge for pennies in the couch, give up the lattes. It must be done.

2.
The Subgroups

  • For minimal fees, you can join subgroups of these organizations. I belong to Guppies, the SinC Chapter expressly for the Great Unpublished Writers out there. Also the SinC Internet Chapter and my Middle Tennessee SinC  Chapter. This takes it up another $40. I also belong to SEMWA, the Southeast Chapter of MWA. That’s free.

3.
The Web Threads

  •  This too is free. It’s earned media, plain and simple. There is a thread for every genre, every idea, every group. The ones I belong to I joined because I know I can learn from the members. Some are public (DorothyL, Rara-Avis, Short Mystery, Murder Must Advertise.) Some are offshoots of the organizations above. A word to the wise – lurk for at least two weeks to get a general sense of what the thread is really about. You don’t want to pop up the first day, shoot off your mouth and embarrass yourself. Some lists are a little clubby, and they’ll appreciate a gentler introduction.

4.
The Magazines (Print and Online)

  •  Personally, I love Writer’s Digest. Tons of solid writing tips, great articles (Blogmate Simon Woods had an excellent article a couple of months back). I don’t get any others hard copy, because yes, I’m starting to run out of money. (If you’re an MWA member, you get a discount) There’s Publishers Weekly, but it’s pricey.
  • Online – Publisher’s Marketplace is the place to be. You can set up a website (See Mine), research agents and publishers, stay on  top of the deals being made, read book reviews, really, is there anything PM can’t do? Yes, it’s another chunk — $20 a month. But that’s how I got my agent…

5.
Critique Groups

  •  I am blessed to belong to the BMW’s, otherwise known as the Bodacious Music City Wordsmiths. There are 7 of us, published and unpublished. We meet the 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month. Those who are producing bring 10 pages of their WIP (or a short story) to be read ALOUD to the group. We then proceed to the critique portion of the program. Sometimes it’s ugly. Sometimes it’s just too damn funny for words. I’ve never left a BMW meeting without learning.
  • CG’s are a bitch to find. They’re worth their weight in gold when you do. If you don’t have a local MWA or SinC chapter to plumb, Guppies has a wonderful online critique group.
  • Just a little advice. NEVER let anyone make you feel like your work isn’t worth their time. If that’s the case, they aren’t worth yours.

6.
The Conferences

  • All I can say is ouch. When  you don’t have advance money to offset the registration fees, the hotel and the airfare, it’s going to take a bite out of your wallet. I’m attending ThrillerFest on my own dime, and it’s pretty painful. But you can’t make money without spending money. I keep repeating that one.
  • Conferences are invaluable. You meet like-minded individuals, make friends, learn tons, and come away with the Holy Grail of Writing – contacts.
  • Bouchercon, ThrillerFest and Malice Domestic are the Holy Trinity of Conferences. But there are others. My first was Murder in the Magic City, this February, in Birmingham. Cost me $40 and a tank of gas. I met a lot of people, including some of the Boys of Noir there (Duane Swierczynski, Victor Gischler, Harry Hunsicker, Jim Born and Sean Doolittle.) I was inspired to try some short stories and noir flash, which you can sample in the upcoming Demolition Magazine and the inestimable Flashing in the Gutters. So it’s a good thing to go and meet people. You broaden your mind. (And yes, everyone who knows me knows I got the worst case of professionally shys and wasted the whole morning being too reticent to approach the authors, so shame on me. I could have learned more.) Networking is 9/10th of the law. We’ll cover that more in a later post, because it’s so important. Networking online works just as well as in person, but it’s not nearly as fun.
  • Do your research. There are plenty of regional conferences in your backyard if you look for them. There are some fun ones listed in Upcoming Events, too.

7.
Independent Readers

  • This one can be a little tricky. Your Mom doesn’t count. Neither does your next door neighbor. I classify an independent reader as someone you’ve never met, so they can be objective. Like a therapist. Someone who will tell you the truth and not worry about hurting your feelings. And trust me, you’ll need an IR. I met one of mine on a web threads after we realized we shared the same taste in material. She’s a star. Caught the spot where I gave it all away in my new book, ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS. I rewrote it because of her.
  • Readers, period. Yes, your mom counts for this. Ignore her comments about sentence structure, but get her opinion. You’re looking for story flow here, realistic characters, setting. Things that make a book. I know so many people who don’t let anyone read their work before they submit. Personally, I think that’s a mistake. And don’t worry about copyright infringement or plagiarism. Really, if they could do it, wouldn’t they have done it already?
  • Dutch Uncles. Some people call them mentors. There should be people in your life who always have your back, who put you on their shoulders, cheer loudly, and are there  when you need to vent. I met mine at a book signing for the wonderful NYT best-selling author John Connolly. (If you haven’t read his Charlie Parker series, get thee to a bookstore now. You won’t regret it.) Connolly’s media escort was a local woman. She’s a brash, in your face type with a heart of gold. We started chatting and I told her that I was a writer. She says, “Aren’t you a member of Sisters in Crime? Don’t you belong to a critique group? Don’t you know any of the people here?” She was incredulous. I was entranced. I took her advice, and it was worth taking. Now she councils me, in life and in writing, and I don’t know where I’d be without her.

8. Read

  • Read everything you can get your hands on. In the genre, out of the genre, non-fiction, bathroom walls if you have to. The top selling books are selling for a reason. If you write regional knitting cozies, you need to know the work of every regional knitting cozy writer that’s out there. Find out what works for you and what doesn’t. Emulate the voice and style of your favorite writers. After a while, once you’ve read enough, your own voice will poke through, and you’ll catch yourself saying “I would have written that differently.” Or “If he had just used the word kerfuffle there, it would have had more impact.” Once you catch yourself correcting the work of your masters, you’re ready for number 9.

9.
Write

  • Write Every Day. Let me repeat this. WRITE EVERY DAY. Sit in the chair and write. If you can’t work on your WIP, edit it. If that’s not working for you, pretend you’re taking my place on Fridays and write a blog entry. Start a blog of your own and talk about your writing. Write a short story. Write down the dream you had last night. Write your grocery list from your character’s perspective. Pretend you are being besieged by crows and you must write a good-bye note to Aunt Wanda. I don’t care if it’s 40 emails. Write, write, write. Gear all of your writing to your work, and you’ll get comfortable writing every day.
  • Submit too. Yes, you’ll get rejections. What’s good for the goose isn’t always good for the gander. Perseverance should be every writer’s middle name. If your novel isn’t selling, write some short stories. Do flash fiction. Write an article about the pains of becoming a world class writer. There are so many ways to get your name in lights, you should never be at a loss for places to submit.

10.
Balls

  • As in you’ve gotta have ‘em if you want to make it in this industry. Publishing is a harsh world. When world-class writers with dozens of books to their name can lose their publishers, it tells you something. A couple of months ago, a gentleman mused, rhetorically, I think, about why we do it. Why do we write and set ourselves up for rejection? It’s an excellent question. I do it because I feel compelled to share. I chose this road three years ago, and I haven’t regretted it once. Money would be nice, but the satisfaction I get out of creating something from nothing, breathing life into fictional characters and making my readers care about them, is priceless. And seeing your words in someone else’s font is pretty special too.
  • This is the part where I tell you that you have to believe in yourself, because if you don’t, no one else will. And I mean it.

On
Tap for Next Week: I scare myself – why am I not writing romance?

Wine
of the Week: Condesa de Leganza – Crianza 2001