Author Archives: Murderati

Changes in Latitude…

I’m away from home this week, visiting family in Colorado. I’m trying to work. I’m sitting on the deck, trying desperately to hit that magic 1,000 word a day vacation goal. I’m pecking away at the keyboard of my laptop, and I can’t concentrate.

It is just so beautiful here.

This is my home, where I spent my formative years. All of my firsts happened in this area. I learned to golf, and swim, and play tennis, and ski here. I learned to drive, had my first kiss, lost a close friend to suicide. I spent all of my time out of doors, leaving the house first thing in the morning and not returning until the gloaming. There were three of us in kindergarten, and it wasn’t until second grade that they decided to bus in some kids from neighboring areas, so we weren’t alone.

I learned to drive, to dream, to work. I fell in and out of love with my brother’s friends. I snuck off into the red rocks with a couple of friends to smoke cigarettes; we discovered dinosaur tracks in the rocks. I was isolated by geography, yet lived the fullest possible life that a child could lead.

These are often melancholy memories, for I left this area under extreme duress when I was a teenager. My parents moved us to Washington, D.C., someplace I had absolutely no interest in going to. I cried for a year. I left every part of me behind. For many unfortunate years, I believed I left the best parts of me behind.

This area is so fraught with emotion, with memories, that I can’t seem to work on the new book. From an objective sense, the beauty of the area overwhelms me. But what’s really happening is everywhere I look, I see the ghost of a smaller me, sniffing the bark of the pine trees trying to decide if the scent is chocolate, strawberry or vanilla. (Don’t believe me? Try it.)

I am so inextricably linked to these woods, these rocks, the greens, blues, blacks and browns, the deer and bear, that I can’t seem to keep Nashville and Taylor Jackson, my protagonist, foremost in my mind.

I’ve settled for writing some short stories. The tenor is completely different from some of my earlier work. It’s moody, and atmospheric, and I’m finding new expressions to illustrate my surroundings. I think once I’m back home, in my office, staring at the river birch outside my window, I’ll be able to refocus on Nashville, and killers, and homicide lieutenants.

This does not bode well for the lifelong dream – the house in Tuscany half the year to write, write, write.

In the meantime, I want to watch the black storm clouds lurk over the jade and stone mountains. I want to smell the sparkling air, tinged with the scent of wet asphalt, moldy leaves and the barest hint of skunk. I want to laugh at the antics of the towhees, scratching for dinner in the scrub oak.

I want to watch the golfers stream in off the course, shouting admirations to one another as they come in to the 19^th hole for a post-round drink.

I want to watch the deer wander through the backyard, stopping at the birdbath for a quenching draught of water. They all seem to have had twins this year, so Bambi keeps interrupting my thoughts. (As does Jetta the Wonderdog.) They’re all adorable.

Each time I return, I realize that I didn’t leave the best parts of me behind, but stamped my imprint on the area in such a palpable yet subtle way that I will always feel like I’ve come home.

It’s okay that I can’t work on the book. There are other avenues to explore, other stories to put on paper. I hope to take it home with me, this texture and depth. For today though, this setting is just one spark that I will use to write something… different.

Wine of the Week — L de Lyeth Merlot

That’s Me, Right?

A common question I get asked is, “that’s me, right?” and the person asking points to a character in one of my stories. The answer is usually no.

While I’ve encountered a bunch of interesting people (interesting in both senses of the word, interesting fun and interesting weird), it’s hard to incorporate them into a story. The fictional situations I create don’t lend themselves to incorporating real people. I’d be shoehorning someone’s personality into a situation that doesn’t fit. What makes someone funny, scary, threatening or endearing in real life rarely translates well to the written page. Well, in my case, anyway.

I heard Lee Child tell how he incorporated all the people who fired him into his Jack Reacher books, by turning them into bad guys that Reacher kills off. I think that’s why businesses now have exit interviews…

Another reason I don’t lift people’s characters and put them into stories is because people might not like it. Although a lot of people want to be immortalized in print, there are those that don’t because the subject matter isn’t complimentary or pleasant.

I wrote a horror story about a woman’s compulsion with losing weight. It’s a dark and uncomfortable piece and has been published a number of times. A lady I worked with read it and kept challenging me about the story. Was the protagonist based on her? It wasn’t. The story was written three years before I met her. This is the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to take someone’s personal life and make fiction of it, because I wouldn’t like it if it were me used in the story. So I do have a strong reason for not putting people in my stories.

The only thing I do steal is names. I hate coming up with character names. They always come off fake sounding, so I like real life names. I steal interesting names from my friends and acquaintances and put them into the story. And I use only their name. I don’t use their physical description or anything. It’s the name I’m interested in. Some names look good on the page. Others conjure an image in my head. So beware. If you have a neat name, I’m gonna steal it.

So, if people I’ve encountered in my life aren’t the characters in my stories, then who are? The truth is—me! I’m the basis for all the characters you read on the page.. I’m the protagonist, the antagonist, the sidekick, the femme fatal, the thug, the hero. The whole motley crew. I get to thinking about my characters, their situations, background, etc. and I take on their personas. I’ll sit there and I wonder to myself…if was a complete bastard, what would I do, how would I do it, how dangerous would I be? I apply the same process to the good guy and all the other characters. I must admit I get quite carried away (and I will get carried away if I don’t shake the character out of me at the end of the writing day). If I’m writing a scene from a particular character’s point of view, I do have to take a five-minute break when I switch to another character’s scene to enable me to swap mindsets.

The results can be quite startling. For Working Stiffs, I wrote a particularly nasty intimidation scene. I was quite shocked at the result on the page. From the story’s point of view, it was great. From a personal point of view, I’d created a nasty person and all based on—if I were him, what would I do? I chose not to break for the following scene. It was a remorse scene and I wrote exactly how I felt after the intimidation scene. It was very personal and satisfying. These things can only come from within and not from watching others.

So if ever you wonder if the character you’re reading in one of my books is you, the answer’s no. It’s me. They’re all me. Now isn’t that a scary thought?

Sleep tight,
Simon Wood

L.A. Mix Profile: Media Escort Ken Wilson

Here’s Ken Wilson in his favorite place–a fishing boat on a lake. He has fly-fished with mystery’s finest–T. Jefferson Parker, C.J. Box, and Brian Wiprud. This particular photo was taken by Parker.

NAOMI HIRAHARA

So what the heck is a media escort? It sounds slightly nefarious yet glamorous at the same time. Media escorts take authors around to bookstores, either for events or book signings. And you can imagine, for traffic-challenged L.A., these escorts are high in demand.

Think that you need to be a bestselling author to command an escort? After my debut trade paperback original mystery was published in spring of 2004, I hired an escort for a day for a couple hundred of dollars plus gas. There are many excellent escorts to choose from (and I hope to profile more in future posts). But based upon a recommendation from a writer friend, I chose Ken Wilson and was not disappointed.

His mission was to chauffeur me, not to events, but to unscheduled drive-by signings. In a single day, we hit more than a dozen bookstores, from Sherman Oaks to Northridge to Westwood to LAX to Torrance to Studio City. I thought I was familiar with a good many shortcuts through L.A., but Ken knew all the backroads, even at the height of rush-hour traffic.

Of course, I could have driven myself to all these bookstores in perhaps two or three days. But Ken had the connections. He reacquainted me with Lita Weissman, the queen of Borders special events, and introduced me to a score of other chain booksellers, which eventually led to some great in-store events. I can sell the pants off of a product created by friends, but my own work? I get a little tongue-tied, I admit. There are definitely naturally gifted and charming ones, like this author who is tearing up the country in his Suzuki Sidekick.

My friend Carolyn Sanwo of Heritage Source says I’m better at selling myself than most Japanese Americans who are more restrained and have a dignified sense of chanto, propriety (see below). Even so, it is nice to have an advocate to sing your praises alongside of you. Ken is one of the best.

It’s about time to hear it from the man himself, Ken Wilson.

How did you get into the media escort business?

I started in 1981. I had worked at Brentano’s Bookstore in the Beverly Wilshire Hotel for two years in the mid-seventies while I was a freelance newspaper and magazine writer. One of my fellow employees went on to become the Warner Books sales rep. In the late seventies, the publishers would send celebrity authors to various cities and put them into the hands of the local sales rep. The publicity department at the publisher would book them onto the local morning TV show and the sales rep would escort them to the TV studio and then spend the rest of the day taking them to local (at that time mostly independent) bookstores to meet and greet the booksellers and sign stock. The practice got to be popular–so much so that my sales rep friend couldn’t do it and still do her job selling books. She recommended an actor friend of ours as a substitute, and after a short time, he decided it wasn’t for him. I then got the call and the rest is history.

I remember that you mentioned that you had written a book on things to do with with children in L.A. What did you learn about book promotion from that experience? (BTW, is that book still in print?)

The book of which you speak, KIDS ON BOARD, published (ironically) by Warner Books was reasearched and written in 1987 and ’88 and published in ’89. It was a real eye opener for me as the book was published on the same date as the Time-Life Warner merger. One of the casualties of the merger was Warner Books’ entire Travellers Bookshelf imprint which was discontinued. Luckily, the book was printed and distributed, but that was all. The publicity department was forced to cancel a big 10-city promotional tour. I was disappointed, of course, but decided to try my hand at booking media on my own. Again, luckily, TV and radio producers seemed intrigued by the fact that an author would do his own pitching and I got booked on most of the programs I approached. It afforded me an opportunity for on-the-job publicist training that I use to this day. Oh, the book went out of print in 1992.

Ken, I find you very unique in your field because you’re not merely driving authors around, but you participate in the promotion, whether it’s talking them up to CRMs (community relations managers) or calling bookstores ahead of time. Is that your typical M.O.?

Yes. As media in large markets like Los Angeles gets harder and harder to book (there’s pretty much no way to get an author onto most morning TV programs unless he or she is a celebrity), I realized it was essential to provide the publicity department at the publisher with a valuable alternative to media.

If you embrace the notion that books are hand sold, one at a time, and that book store employees are in the best position to recommend and hand sell, it seemed obvious to me that, in the down times between interviews, authors would be best served by meeting as many booksellers as possible. We go into the stores, press the flesh with the employees and get the author to sign the store stock. In many stores, that signed stock (now marked prominently with autograph stickers) goes to the front of the store and is placed in a prominent position.

Since I’ve come to know most sales staffs in nearly all of the stores (chains and independents) in Southern California, I’ve learned who best to introduce my authors to, depending on the subject matter of a book.

In the past couple of years, with fewer and fewer authors being toured by their publishers, in-store marketing has become an essential alternative in getting the word out about a book. Authors themselves, often at the recommendation of their publishers, hire me to do this grass roots marketing.

Do you find that there’s a lot of change in CRM/owner/manager bookstore personnel in Southern Cal? How do you keep abreast with such changes?

There is always turnover. However, managerial positions are somewhat static, and since I’m in most of these stores on at least a weekly basis, I keep up with the changes.

In terms of drop-in signings and events, some authors focus solely on independent bookstores, while others concentrate on the chains. Is it a one-size fits all situation or do you think the formula changes with each author? Please explain.

It’s essential to visit both independents and chain stores. I vary somewhat on my approach to each type. I almost always call indies before a drop in as they tend to get embarrassed if they don’t have my author’s books. If I can, I give them a ten day heads up so that, if they want to, they can order books. With the chains, I call a few locations just to see if generally there are books in the stores. Both Borders and Barnes and Noble have the computer capability to see if other stores in the area carry the book in question.

But with small press, sometimes there will be no stores that carry the book. Undeterred, we still press forward with our visits. In many cases, when an author takes the time and trouble to come to a store, we can usually get that store to order copies once we explain what the book is all about.

When an author does a drop-in signing, what materials should she bring with her? Should she call in advance or just go direct to the bookstore? What days are best for drop-in signings?

My favorite thing to bring is a free copy of the book. Talking to store personnel, we determine who would be most likely to read the book in question and get the author to sign and personalize it to that person. It’s amazing how much traction you can get by giving away an autographed copy.

A copy of a favorable review is also a good thing to bring with you. A few years ago a lot of authors began having postcards made that were adorned with the book cover on the front and some laudatory review quotes on the back. So many, in fact, that stores started getting flooded with postcards and no place to put them. I suggest that, instead of postcards, authors should consider book marks. You can still have a facsimile of the cover and couple of positive quotes, but stores will be more likely to accept them because they take up less counter space. And, as most stores will tell you, everybody needs a bookmark.

I call the indies ahead of time, but that’s because I can usually get them to order books based on our relationship. But, if an author calls him or herself and the store says they don’t have the book and wouldn’t be inclined to order it, the author has lost out on the possibility of stating his or her case in person. I can’t emphasize enough how important personal contact is.

The best days to visit stores (at least in Los Angeles) are Monday through Thursday (Friday traffic is terrible and we can’t get to as many stores as on those other days). When you are adding genre stores (like mystery or sci-fi stores) you need to determine the days they are open. In greater L.A., there are some mystery stores that are closed on certain weekdays.

What other services do you offer?

I do publicist work, specializing in Southern California.

Thank you, Ken!

Whether or not you decide to hire your own media escort, Ken has shared some great advice on drive-by signings. His suggestion that writers bring copies of their books as giveaways (a practice that Joe Konrath has embraced in his marathon book tour) is excellent. Ken recommended that I, as a unknown mystery writer, mail about 100 autographed copies of my debut trade PBO to independent bookstores across the nation. I didn’t do it–I didn’t want to spend the extra money and figured that ARCs would take care of that, anyway. But I regret it now because booksellers do love and appreciate signed books. It would have been a great way to launch a series.

Ken is gaining notoriety nationally as he was recently interviewed for a Pages Magazine article on in-store marketing. Look for it in December.

And the most important thing, his contact e-mail: KWMedia@earthlink.net. You can contact him directly if you have any questions about his current rates, etc.

Ken will most likely be on the road today, but go ahead and post any questions and comments for him and hopefully he can get to them at the end of the day.

L.A. Mix Profile is an occasional Wednesday feature of Murderati. Who will be next? Stay tuned.

WEDNESDAY’S WORD: chanto (SUMMER OF THE BIG BACHI, page 127)

Proper, appropriate, just right. Japanese American parents usually impress this principle upon their children. Years ago, I wrote a column, "The Importance of Being Chanto," for my former newspaper, The Rafu Shimpo. It was later excerpted in the Los Angeles Times and reprinted in a book for Japanese American youth, NIKKEI DONBURI, and then reappeared in my column, “Three Degrees of Separation,” for the Pacific Citizen. It related how "unchanto" I was, much to the chagrin of my mother. I’ll be posting it next month as part of a regular monthly “Three Degrees of Separation” feature, which begin next week.

MIDDLE-AGED NAOMI GETS OUT: Was that me wandering the streets of Hollywood Boulevard on Friday night? Thanks to the guidance and company of thirtysomething brother and his twentysomething girlfriend, I was actually going to a concert that STARTED at 10:30 PM! That’s the time I start dozing off in the middle of Law & Order. We were at the Knitting Factory Hollywood to meet for the first time and support a second-cousin. The music of Bjorkestra was quite excellent; I would encourage New Yorkers to check out the band and more importantly the pianist cousin at their performance at the Tonic in NYC this Friday. And Hollywood Boulevard at 12:45 AM? It’s a madhouse, definitely Blade Runnerish. I would recommend all to have this quintessential Hollywood experience, but it helps if you have L.A. Generation X-er and Y-ers as your entertainment escorts.

Kee Yah!!

by Pari Noskin Taichert

A little more than a week ago, I earned my red belt in Tae Kwon Do. For someone who started this demanding martial art late in life, getting this far — only three more levels until the test for black belt — the switch from blue to red feels like an incredible accomplishment.

When you’re 48 and trying to do a flying side kick and only getting a few inches off the floor — and the young bucks have one-minute hang times — it can be discouraging. Still, I persevere.

I was going to use this post to compare the trials and tribulations of being an author with doing Tae Kwon Do — but the comparisons were too predictable, too pat.

Instead, I thought I’d let you into my Tae Kwon Do world this bright Monday in August.

WARNING: These pictures are unflattering (not the photog’s fault, btw). Don’t hold that against me when we meet. I’ve been told for at least a year that I have a very intense, fierce face when I do TKD. Well, I didn’t believe it until I saw these . . .

Before we do anything, we stretch. I’m the only person with her legs straight in front of her. My expression is already beginning to change.

Behind me, on the wall are photos of past championships won by members of our Do Jang. If you look closely, you can see a man standing in the very back on the left — he’s Master Kim, our teacher.

Every testing is different. This time, we broke out into male/female groups and did the first six of our forms (in karate, they’d be called "kata")together. I’m in the back, to the left near the mounted staffs (bo).

You never know with testings . . . I expected to do several forms by myself. However, I only had the opportunity to do one — and it was with the other lady testing for a red belt. This form is called Toi Gye (pronounced "ta-gay"). The following two pix are also this form — and I’m looking mighty fierce.

Many people hate Toi Gye because it has six stomps. These make you look like you did in second grade when you pretended to be a tree. To make the stomp, you have to twist your body and land hard. I still am not very good at it — but you can see I bring real energy to the motion. The woman behind me is more than 10 years younger than I am and quite an accomplished athlete. I want to hate her . . . .

I’ve just leapt and landed in that position. It’s a very satisfying move.

The next few photos are of kicks — we do them to keep limber at testing and, later, in preparation for our board-breaking. I’m including several so that you can see the focus in preparing for the kick and then the execution. The woman who is in front of me in line is 55 — and every time I start feeling sorry for myself, I just look at her and stop it.

I think I’ve just landed a kick here and am yelling that loud Kee Yah! that can wake up the dead. Believe me, my kee yah is frightening. I should use it on publishers and misbehaving children . . .

I’m preparing to do two roundhouse kicks here.

Bam!

I had no idea I got my leg that high. Not bad for someone looking at 50.

Here is a challenging balancing exercise. You kick that little red pad front to back — with power — as many times as you can without setting your foot down. I managed to get at least seven sets — the most in the line that time through — and it was such a good feeling to do something really well.

Again, the men and women were separated for — what I think of as — running the gauntlet. We have four large pads, spaced moderately evenly and we have to run and kick with opposite legs as fast and hard as we can.

Ka-bam!

Usually when I spar, I wear a helmet, mouthpiece, sparring gloves, kicking pads (and sometimes even shin guards) — but at testing we have no equipment. Still, I love sparring — though I get socked, punched and kicked a lot. I’m in the middle of the picture here, leaning back — my hands are raised to protect and attack. I’m also laughing.

I’m still center screen here, my butt to the camera (with the blue belt). I’m trying to land a kick on my opponent — but he has the same idea. This happens often in sparring and can hurt like the dickens when knees or shins meet. Why am I still enjoying it so much? Insanity, I tell you.

This is one of my many attempts to break a 1-inch board with a shuffle front kick. Here, I have to skip, launch myself up and forward and break the board with the ball of my front foot.

Of the many breaks we can do, this one has always scared me because I have horrid and very painful bunions that hurt all the time. Merely getting my foot in position to do the kick hurts like hell. But, I DID IT.

Though I’ve broken more boards with other kicks and hits, my fear of this break was very important to overcome.

I wish I had a photo of me smiling and showing you my new red belt . . . but none of them turned out very well, alas. . .

Thanks for letting me relive my glory day.

And, thanks to Master Brian Kast for taking these photos.

QUESTION:

What challenge, besides writing (if you’re a writer), have you pursued in spite of frustration — so that now, it brings you more pleasure than not? Please share it with the rest of us in the comments.

Titled Gentry

Jeffrey Cohen

There has been much talk this week, at least on DorothyL about titles. Not like “Lord” or “Duke” or my particular favorite, “Viscount” (doesn’t that sound like it should cost less than the other titles?), but titles of books. In particular, mystery books.

Now, whatever meager reputation I have in the world of mystery publishing (a great term, implying the publisher will be surprised by what comes out) is based at least partially on the fact that people remember my titles.

Or, they think they do, but we’ll get back to that.

I’m not one to brag–unless I’m awake–but I’ve had other mystery authors approach me and ask how I write my titles. There have been times I’ve considered hiring myself out to write titles, and then I remember that other authors probably can’t afford me any more than I can. The point is, my titles have gotten some attention, of the positive kind, and that leads to a consideration of what makes a title work, or not work.

The four titles I’ve written so far for mystery novels have been meant to convey a sense of humor, that the books would be fun. But they were also designed to impart information.

For Whom The Minivan Rolls: Because it was the first book in the Aaron Tucker series, this title had to convey a lot of information to readers who had never heard of me, or Aaron, before (this, by the way, still applies to more than 99.9 percent of the population, but I’m working on it). I wanted the idea that this was a mystery novel to be communicated, and the fact that the title is, even in a silly way, ominous (and the subsequent fact that the subtitle was “An Aaron Tucker Mystery“, duh!) got that factoid across. But I also wanted it known that this was a comical mystery, and since I think “minivan” is a funny word–otherwise the proper title would be For Whom the SUV Rolls, which is a lot less mellifluous–that was accomplished, too. And since the humor was derived from a suburban point of view, “minivan” once again helped. The fact that the first scene in the book portrays a woman being threatened by a minivan was a complete coincidence.

{By the way, this is the title that people most often misquote to me: “I just loved your book, Where The Minivan Rolls!” “Today on ‘BookTalk,’ Jeff Cohen, author of For Whom the Minivan Tolls.” “Great Big Generic Bookseller is proud to present Jeff Cohen, author of The Minivan Rolls For Thee.” So, maybe I’m not as good at titles as I thought I was.}

A Farewell to Legs: The second Hemingway parody, entirely unintentional. I had never set out to do Hemingway titles. But once the victim in the sequel to whatever that last book was called became “Crazy Legs Gibson” (and no, Mel was not the intended victim in that book; the name’s a coincidence), the title was set. It’s still the one I have trouble saying with a straight face.

As Dog Is My Witness: Well, the fact is, there’s a dog in this book. And she is, indeed, present when the victim is shot. And despite the fact that she doesn’t actually talk, she does–in a very doggy fashion–help solve the crime. And besides, one of the subplots has Aaron dealing with the difference between celebrations of Christmas and Chanukah, so religion, in some sick, twisted way, had a small part in this book. So the pun is appropriate.

Some Like It Hot Buttered: There’s still some confusion as to whether there should be a hyphen between “hot” and “buttered.” I think it’s going without, but don’t hold me to it. Well, the new Comedy Tonight series takes place in a small movie theatre, and the victim in this one is poisoned while eating popcorn. Do the math.

But now, I have to write the second book in the Comedy Tonight series, and I’ve once again established unintentional precedents. I want the new one to be a play on a classic comedy film title, but also to have some relevance to the plot, which involves feuding ex-comedy partners, now quite elderly (think The Sunshine Boys, where Walter Matthau kills George Burns–but funny).

Got any ideas?

ON THE BUBBLE WITH SARAH WEINMAN

Wanna know what’s going on in BookBizVille? Well, there’s only one place for one-stop snooping and that is at Sarah Weinman’s CONFESSIONS OF AN IDIOSYNCRATIC MIND. Razor sharp observations, always the first with the inside scoop, delectible books featured on ‘Pick of the Week’, an international readership comprising of some of the biggest names in the biz – and one of the most widely read blogs on the net. I mean, hell, even The Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, and USA Today (just to mention a few), have talked about CONFESSIONS!

Oh, and then – between commercials and the weather report – Sarah contributes to Galleycat (a terrific publishing news blog), does a crime fiction column for the Baltimore Sun, and is the fiction editor for SHOTS. In her spare time (?), Sarah writes short fiction-which has appeared in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, and published in Dublin Noir, Baltimore Noir and Damn Near Dead. I won’t list all the prestigious newspapers her articles and reviews have appeared in – well, maybe just a few – how’s Newsday? Or, the Globe and Mail for starters? We won’t even get into the fact that Sarah has an M.S. in Forensic Science from John Jay College of Criminal Justice. I mean, enough with the envy, okay? It’s bad enough to feel so under-accomplished, did we need to know that too?

I was yakking with Sarah the other day, and this is what we talked about:

EE: My favorite new spy told me you’re working on a blockbuster tell-all about a famous literary giant who is – in reality – Carmen Electra. When can we expect to see this in the bookstores?

SW: Alas, your spy had a couple of things mixed up – that blockbuster tell-all will reveal that…Kaavya Viswanathan is really James Frey. Because A MILLION LITTLE OPALS just didn’t work at the ed board meeting, so it had to be scrapped. Even though it would have been much pithier.

Shucks. Guess that means there won’t be a guest spot on Ophra then, huh? Darn.

EE: Rumor has it that you are really one half of a set of twins. I mean, Sarah, there must be something to this – how else can you manage to do reviews, articles, write short stories and daily stay on top of every bit of news about the book biz?

SW: Not having a day job makes things much, much easier. But for this, I have to misquote Lawrence Block when he was asked how could he be so prolific: he just wanted to keep people from finding out how lazy he was. Terror borne out of procrastination works real wonders, let me tell you!

Ahem. Not that I’m prolific, but the terror thing? I can relate to that. But, seriously – I play Solitaire all the time because I like it. I mean, I don’t really look at it as procrastination. What? Really, I don’t. I’m serious here. Stop laughing, okay?

EE: Listen, Sarah – we have to get something cleared up here. The fact that you completed your M.S. in Forensic Science greatly worries your legion of fans. You’re not thinking of donning a white coat and leaving all of us news starved writers afloat, are you?

SW: Oh God no, though I do sometimes look at the job postings at the American Academy of Forensic Science and realize that no, I don’t want to leave New York. More to the point, the degree was amazing, I learned immeasurable things – but labwork and I just weren’t meant to be friends. I still think I’ll find different ways to make use of it, even if it’s just to pen crime novels in a forensic setting.

Whew. Good news for us, but maybe not for Patricia Cornwell or Kathy Reichs. Not to worry, Sarah – mums the word. I haven’t talked to Cornwell or Reichs in days. Well, Cornwell and I actually aren’t buds anymore. I mean, she’s just gotten so stale, you know? I told her that, and she…well, never mind.

EE: Okay, let’s talk about panels. As a much sought after panelist at all the major cons, tell us who would make up your ideal panel?

SW: Anyone who has funny stories to share and an ability to keep the panel moving without taking it over completely. Because if I’m moderating a panel, it’s their show, not mine, so I want to make sure they put on the best possible one.

No names, I see. Okay, very diplomatic – very discreet – but no fun! Guess we’ll have to fill in the blanks for ourselves.

EE: Word around Manhattan is that you turned down a dinner date with Mel Brooks to discuss the intricacies of short story writing. This can’t be true, can it?

SW: He wanted to go to Elaine’s. I wanted to go to Michael’s. We had to agree to disagree, unfortunately.

Well, hell, I don’t blame you! Too bad Mel didn’t realize that Michael’s was THE place for the literati. But then, what do movie people know? Listen, chickie – you’re better off without him.

EE: Whispers are rampant that a certain hunky new writer is sending you roses and chocolates so can become a Cabana Boy. What say you about that?

SW: Roses, yes. Chocolates, no. I can be bribed, people, so please, make it chocolate, preferably 70% dark and up.

Hey, guys – are you listening out there? The lady wants CHOCOLATES! And none of that Godiva stuff, okay? Hint: zChocolate.com is the place to go. Sarah would love that nifty mahogany box filled with goodies made by Pascal Caffet (Forbes said he was the best in the world!) and it’s a bargain at $171.40. I mean, what’s a few bucks to be immortalized as a Cabana Boy?

EE: Uh, besides the bribe, er, I mean the chocolates – just what does it REALLY take to be a Cabana Boy? And further and further more – a Cabana Girl? (hint, hint)

SW: That secret is locked in the same safe that contains the exact GPS location of the Bermuda Triangle and the recipe for No 1. Pimms. And you need Top Secret Clearance, at best,to get it.

I can handle that. But, I must say – I prefer adding champagne instead of lemonade. I mean, it’s so much better with the gin and aromatics. Don’t you agree?

EE: Here’s an easy one, Sarah – the Walter Mitty dream thing. What’s yours?

SW: To be able to make a living for the rest of my life doing a wide variety of writing-related tasks. That’s the practical version. The not-so-practical version is to make my operatic debut at the Met and my jazz debut at the Village Vanguard, but then practicalities take over and remind me that I tried that song-and-dance years ago and it didn’t work.

Well, hell, Sarah – not that we (your legion of fans) don’t want you to stop writing, or keeping us up to date on the book biz, but really – your Un Bel Di rivaled that of Callas, and Diana Kral’s version of East of The Sun can’t hold a candle to yours.

EE: You’r having six guests to dinner. Who would they be,and what would you serve? Or, since most of my previous guests refuse to cook – which restaurant would you take them to?

SW: I do love to cook, but I get stressed out if I have to deal with cooking for more than one person-me. For guests, I’d limit it to writerly types: Shel Silverstein, Angela Carter, Terry Teachout, Sholom Alichem, Janine Boissard, and Dave White because he wouldn’t know who any of these people are.

Uh, Dave? It’s okay – I’ve only heard of two of them myself.

EE: Crimeville is all abuzz about that new debut writer who’s sending you hate mail because you haven’t selected his/her book as a ‘Pick of the Week’ over at Confessions – even after you praised the work. How are you handling this, Sarah? Actually, what we REALLY want to know – is who the hell is he/her?

SW: What can I say? Bloggers have feelings too. We’re not the automatons that the mainstream media makes us out to be, dammit!

Of course you have feelings! Ignore those media types. Why, you’re a fun gal -friendly, sweet, charming, full of the devil and you love No 1. Pims! But, uh, Sarah? That wasn’t what I asked you, but hey – if you don’t want to go public, that’s cool. I’ll call you later,okay? If I pick the right name, just tap on the phone with a pen, or something.

EE: Okay, Sarah – here’s a real hard one; You’re on a book tour – who would be your ideal tour mate?

SW: Jennifer Jordan, for the banter, the camaraderie and the incredible tangents. If only she’d get her damn book done, too…

I love Jennifer! Oh, to be a fly on the wall around you two! Hey, I’ve got an idea…how about if we…

EE: Last, but most pressing question: When the hell do you find time to sleep?

SW: Most of the time I get about 8 hours a night. It goes back to that procrastination/terror cycle. I’m telling you, this really works!

Not for me. I just pick up a copy of …….’s book, and I’m out like a light. I keep a copy next to my bed. It works every time.

Many thanks, Sarah – for playing On The Bubble with us – and for the absolutely terrific job you consistantly do to keep us all in the loop. A round of applause, if you please – for Sarah Weinman!

The Power of Critique Groups

JT Ellison

Forgive me while I wax poetic. I have an amazing critique group. We even have a name – The Bodacious Music City Wordsmiths. BMW’s for short. This compilation of writers range from New York published authors to independently published authors to short story authors to authors whose first books aren’t out yet to unpublished authors. There’s one key ingredient that brings us together. We all love to write, and that respect carries over into our WIPs (works in progress).

Critique groups catch a lot of flak. Let me tell you, finding a good one takes time and effort, but a good critique group is worth its weight in gold.

When I was invited to join the BMW’s, I was thrilled and scared. I’d just come out of a different critique group, one that had really cooled my jets on having a group of people review my work. And I’d never even given them my work to critique.

We had a tyrannical leader who was really harsh, and not shy in his views. If things didn’t match what he thought they should, he harangued and brow beat the issue. He wasn’t critiquing, he was being critical. There’s a HUGE difference. Feelings got hurt, people lost interest, and we were over before we even began. It wasn’t the greatest experience, and I was a little leery about joining another. But I knew that I needed some outside input on my work, so I agreed to come to a meeting.

I was hooked from moment one.

All critique groups are set up in different ways, but the gist is you bring your pages, read them aloud and the group, obviously, critiques your work. In the BMW’s we bring 10 pages. Each person reads their work, then it’s a free-for-all. Likes, dislikes, comma splices, misused words, too much sex, too little sex, too many F-Bombs, your character is doing something unbelievable, your setting doesn’t work. Anything and everything is fair game. Sounds rough, doesn’t it?

The reason it works is that we all genuinely care about helping each other become better writers. Egos are checked at the door. Personal feelings are checked at the door. We’re all friends and there’s no need to worry that we’re going to hurt someone’s feelings because we find ways to work together for solutions to problems. That’s the key ingredient to any good group. Feel free to point out the glaring errors, just have a suggestion for how to make it better.

For me, the group has brought me out of my shell. When I first started with them, I could barely read my work aloud. It was mortifying. But a great lesson for the future. And now I look forward to my twice monthly meetings. They keep me focused on my work. I know that I’m required to show up with ten new pages every two weeks, and let me tell you, that keeps your nose to the grindstone.

I’ve asked my fellow BMW’s a question. What’s the most important thing you get out of the BWs and critique groups in general. Here’s some of the answers:

· Alternate perspective. Like most people, I haven’t always written what I think. The group sees what’s on paper, not what I was thinking.

· Besides heads-up help, shared knowledge.

For me, I find that I get such a sense of camaraderie from my group. Knowing I’m not the only one having issues and eureka moments really helps me engage. Whether you’re a new writer or an old hat, a critique group can help your writing improve.

Have any critique group suggestions/stories to share? Please post them in our comment section!!!

Wine of the Week – A very fine wine — Robert Mondavi Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Tomorrow’s ON THE BUBBLE will have ANOTHER phenomenal guest. Last week’s interview was Tess Gerritsen. Who will Elaine pull out of her hat tomorrow? Stay tuned to see…

Ta-Pocketa-Pocketa-Pocketa

My wife, Julie, kicked me under the table at a restaurant the other day.

“You’re doing it again,” she said.

“What?”

“You’re watching something going on. You think you’re subtle, but you’re so obvious.”

She’d caught me red-handed. Something had caught my eye in the restaurant. But I was listening to her—honest! Her mother was wrestling tigers in Sumatra. Well, I think that’s what she said.

I’m always people watching and situation observing. Regardless of the facts of the matter, there could be a story in it. Truth always makes great fiction. If I can think it, I swear someone else has already done it.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing that catches my eye. A couple breaking up or falling in love can be just as fascinating as cops chasing a subject down the middle of a crowded street. I can always learn from how people handle themselves in real situations. A Hollywood bar brawl looks nothing like two drunks really trying to duke it out on a street corner.

But I have to admit my passion is for the strange. I love coming across weird chunks of real life to ignite my imagination. The other month, I was driving to Fresno to give a speech to the Central Valley chapter of Sisters in Crime. I was hurtling along I-5 and I suddenly had to swerve out of the way to avoid an army duffel in the middle of the freeway. I considered stopping, but with the onslaught of traffic behind me, I was going to get smooshed and what the hell was I going to do with the bag if I did pick it up?

Cha-ching!

It hit me. What if I stopped to pick up the bag? What would I find? Clothes? How about a bunch of cash? Would I keep it? Bloody right, I would. Finders keepers. What if the owners of the moneybag saw me take the bag, came after me, and we mixed it up?

Then again, what if it was body parts in the bag instead? I don’t think I’d keep the bag then, but my fingerprints would be everywhere and the cops would suspect me of chopping up the body. I’d be an innocent man, but the cops wouldn’t believe me and then I’d have to go on the run to clear my name.

Maybe I decided to leave the bag alone because of the potential of above and I drove on by. What if the effect of this was that a school bus struck the bag, flipped the median and started a chain-reaction of carnage leading to a fatal pile up? How would I feel then? Especially when the parents of the school children banded together to hunt me down as part of some tragic revenge story.

All these things occurred to me within 3 seconds of passing the duffel, so that gives you a feel for how my mind works and why I should be confined to a state facility.

The point of all this is that the incidences that lead to ideas are out there. I must admit I have a habit of stumbling on to the strange, but I can’t be everywhere at once. This is a reason I comb the newspapers for stories. Not the headline stuff, but the little stories that warrant only a few column inches. These back-stories and page fillers are great resources. People do the oddest things for the oddest motives and that’s what I’m looking for. Crimes stories usually boil down to a very basic and fundamental reason and that what I’m always searching for—a passion for crime.

There’s only so much a writer can conjure from thin air, but there’s a whole big bunch of stuff out there happening all the time. I might not use it word for word, but reality makes a great foundation for fiction.

So sorry, Julie, I’m going to keep people watching.

Here’s looking at you,
Simon

PS: And don’t even consider using these story ideas. I thought of them and if you use them, I’ll hunt you down like a dog. That’s intellectual property justice. Plain and simple. Don’t make me hurt you.

Why Publishing Is So Japanese

NAOMI HIRAHARA

While I lived in Japan for a year after graduating from college, I did something that offended my distant relatives. I can’t remember exactly what it was, but I recall lying on my futon in an adjoining tatami room and hearing my grandmother explain my behavior to the relatives. "She’s gaijin," she was telling them in Japanese. "She really doesn’t know."

Well, for those who missed the "Shogun" miniseries, being called a gaijin is not a good thing. It literally means "outside person" or foreigner. Basically some fool who doesn’t know better. But to plead my case, I have to tell you that the "rules" in Japan are unspoken. They are definitely there, but no one really articulates them, so you have to step in a minefield to discover what’s really going on and perhaps lose an arm and leg in the process.

I often see parallels between the American publishing world and the Japanese world, both relationship-driven universes. There are certain rules and truths that outsiders don’t know. And yes, as writers, we think that we are insiders because we look the part, our names are part of the system, we can speak the language, we even act like we know. But oftentimes we don’t.

We author bloggers try to posit ourselves as experts, presenting our loyal readers with anecdotal evidence about the "truths" of publishing. But most of us don’t know. Publishing is a more complicated animal, an amoeba that takes different shapes and forms, constantly changing and yet utterly constant at the same time.

I recall reading that Laura Lippman once stated that she was concerned about publishing advice being spread by the web. Not wanting to rely on my faulty memory, I e-mailed her recently and she elaborated in her reply: "My primary worry is that so much info on the Internet is packaged as ‘the’ way, as opposed to one way. There is no single way."

"Good people get dropped," she went on to say. "It would be foolish to pretend otherwise. Good books don’t get the attention they deserve. But there are no simple solutions to these problems and I worry that certain approaches achieve Holy Grail status."

Basically, she expressed, those working at mainstream publishing houses do know a lot more than we authors give them credit for. I think there’s something to Laura’s words of wisdom. Yes, our own personal experience may seem like "the truth," but it’s not the whole truth. It might be an aberration, in fact.

If you want more of a big-picture reality of the publishing industry, I would point you to down under, specifically the Australian Publishers Association, who sponsors a fellowship program for writers and publishers from Australia to spend time in U.S. publishing houses and literary agencies.

I think it was Sarah Weinman’s website that turned me on to these reports a while back and I found them illuminating. I recently returned to see that a 2003-2004 report had been added, filed by Rowena Lennox. They are long, more than 70 pages, and more geared towards Australian and personal interests. They are also dated; one report is from 1999 and the second, 2001.

You’ll find superfluous information here about apartment-hunting in Manhattan and AOL hookups (yes, they are dated), but they are also fascinating.

The beauty of these reports are that they are filed by gaijin, new to this country and the New York business scene. Nothing is taken for granted in these reports–the configuration of American chain bookstores, the unique nature of New York publishing houses, the personalities of New York newspapers.

There’s detailed descriptions about the various departments in publishing houses, covers, Internet publicity, and bookstores, along with some corresponding numbers.

Again, with the time lag, there are changes, I’m sure. For instance, the situation of the mass-market book seems different in 2006 than two years earlier. Costco and other big-box stores play a larger role than ever before. Yet the general rigmarole involved in buying and producing a book has most likely stayed constant. What is also apparent is the dedication of editors and other publishing professionals in producing the best book possible.

As I scan these reports, it occurs to me that we writers don’t really have to understand all the details of the industry. We authors really see only a small slice of the larger pie and perhaps we need to do more of what we do best–write. Of course, we still have to have an eye on self-promotion because while the publishers have hundreds of books to shepherd, we just have ours. I just hope that Murderati readers realize what we are offering here on this blog is merely suggestive, not prescriptive.

The irony of it all is that sometimes it does take a gaijin to explain the system.

HOT SUMMER READ: Christine Bell of Mystery and Imagination Bookshop turned me on to Richard K. Morgan’s ALTERED CARBON and it’s been my beach reading for the past couple of days. Morgan’s debut features Takeshi Kovacs, an Envoy from Harlan’s World, a Japanese-East European planet–what would have happened if my ancestors and Harley Jane Kozak’s got together. Most of this futuristic noirish novel takes place in Bay City, formerly San Francisco. It’s got gore, sex, and violence and it’s also incredibly inventive and well-written. A definite page-turner. Brett Battles, I would definitely recommend this for you.

TOFU FOR THE SOUL: All you Angelenos, come out this weekend for this and this.

WEDNESDAY’S WORD: hakujin (SNAKESKIN SHAMISEN, page 1)

White person. Literally. Haku is one way to read the character shiro, the more popular way to say "white." "Jin" is another way to read the character hito, the more popular way to say "person."

Bewitched, Bothered & Remaindered

Denise Dietz

QUIBBLES & BITS

Once upon a long time ago, a Big Pub House editor asked me if I could write a mystery starring a witch. “Hell yes,” I said. “I wait tables in Manitou Springs (Colorado), where you can find ‘Covens’ in the phone book under C.”

“The thing is,” he said, “your witch doesn’t believe she’s a witch.”

“Not Bewitched?” I asked, crinkling my nose. “Or Margaret Hamilton?”

“Not Bewitched,” he echoed. “Or The Wizard of Oz.”

“Magic is my middle name,” I said, bursting with confidence, already thinking: SERIES!

I had used food in my other crime fiction titles – Throw Darts at a Cheesecake, Beat Up a Cookie, Footprints in the Butter. It was my bloody signature for goodness sake (trust me when I say that I was a lot younger then), so I searched my brain for a witchy title with food in it, and came up empty. All I could picture was the candy corn that people (and probably agents, too) ate at Halloween and, for some dumb reason, chocolate bunnies. I clicked an imaginary remote, switched brain channels, and remembered Macbeth…witches cooking stuff in a cauldron…lots of stuff…holy cow…SERIES. (I tend to think stream-of-consciousness — doesn’t everybody?)

I called my book EYE OF NEWT, while visions of bat wings, frog toes, dog tails and wolf teeth danced in my head. There were so many Macbeth cauldron ingredients, I lost count. Now all I had to do was conjure up 26 plots and I could be another Grafton.

My Big NY Pub House editor liked the title.

I decided Book # One’s plot would revolve around the death of a rock star named Clive Newton (names seem to pop into my head; if they don’t, I use my high school yearbook). The name of my witch-sleuth was important; after all, she had to carry 26 books! At that time, an internet authors loop was talking about naming characters after your first dog and first street. I figured "Bootsie 223rd Street" would never fly. Neither would "Shaft Route 3." But my Colorado Springs address was St. Charles Street and one of my dogs, an Australian Shepherd bitch, had been christened Sydney.

Sydney St. Charles. Cool.

I surrounded Sydney with quirky characters: two brothers—David Copperfield St. Charles and Oliver Twist St. Charles—and Great-Aunt Lillian, who hadn’t successfully cast a spell since the Beatles invaded the USA, and a parrot, dog and cat (Syd’s “familiars”) named for three Salem witches who perched at the top of the family tree. I wrote 4 chapters (50 pages) and a proposal. My editor, as I now thought of him, gave me an enthusiastic thumbs-up and touted my witch series at the Big Pub House General Meeting.

It was shot down. “The concept is too dark,” the senior editor said.

“My” editor phoned. He used the F-word. A lot. Shortly thereafter, he left publishing.

I shelved the manuscript. But since I was now totally into the paranormal/ supernatural, I wrote THE LANDLORD’S BLACK-EYED DAUGHTER, an historical that includes elements of the paranormal [reincarnation], and FIFTY CENTS FOR YOUR SOUL, about an uptight actress possessed by a promiscuous demon. Landlord was turned down because editors were “uncomfortable” with the paranormal elements. Fifty Cents was published.

Flash forward several years. The supernatural was “in.” Buffy, Charmed, Medium, Charlaine Harris. I dusted off my manuscript, decided the 4 chapters were publishable, and fired up my computer. Before my first cup of caffeine, even, I had an epiphany—a word that’s almost as hard to say [and spell] as “entrepreneur.” Since I loved writing both historical fiction and crime fiction, I’d add a 1692-Salem mystery to EYE OF NEWT. Almost immediately, the naysayers came out of the woodwork. “You can’t do that unless it’s a time-travel,” they said. “Yes, I can,” I said. And did.

Having amicably left my agent of 9 years, I decided to use NEWT to audition new agents. I can write one hell of a query, so the first 4 reps I contacted wanted to see the complete manuscript. Two weren’t “enthusiastic enough” (but that was “only one opinion, and other agents might feel different” – yes, I know it’s ungrammatical, but both agents wrote it that way). One agent liked the contemp mystery but not the historical portion, and one agent, having apparently ignored the cover letter that listed my bibliography, told me I “showed promise.”

Stubborn is my middle name. I submitted my manuscript to 3 presses that didn’t require an agent-submit, and had 3 offers. I chose Five Star Mysteries. While attending a SF/Fantasy con (Fifty Cents For Your Soul is a cross-over book), I strolled through the convention’s art exhibit and saw THE perfect Eye of Newt cover, by artist Mark Ferrari. Mark emailed me a download, I sent it to Five Star, and they purchased the print rights. NEWT came out October, 2004 (nine days before Halloween) to excellent reviews, and within six weeks it had a 90% sell-through. A year later Five Star published a Trade paperback edition [with a new cover].

Last week I was told that the hardcover was being remaindered. There were exactly 209 books left in stock and Five Star offered me as many hardcovers as I wanted at the remaindered price.

Granted, “remaindered” is easier to say than epiphany and entrepreneur, but it’s an awful word. My dictionary has many definitions but, used as a verb, it means “to dispose of.” Ouch!

Surprisingly, this is my first remaindered book. My romances would always hit the stores, then leave the shelves without much farewell-fanfare. My first two diet club mysteries sold out (the verdict’s not in on Chain a Lamb Chop to the Bed, but I suspect it’ll eventually be remaindered too). My saga, The Rainbow’s Foot, sold out. So did Footprints in the Butter and Fifty Cents For Your Soul—although I have copies of all three squirreled away.

So, EYE OF NEWT [in hardcover, but not paperback] is remaindered.

Sydney St. Charles is remaindered.

Mercy the Parrot and Annie the Cat and Chasdick the Dog are remaindered.

In other words, disposed of.

My “baby,” who had such a difficult time being birthed, is disposed of.

Color me sad.

**********NEW**********

QUITE OF THE WEEK: “There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde…like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana…and right now I’m that icon.” Paris Hilton, the famous (for what, exactly?) hotel heiress.

**********NEW**********

From now on, starting today, Sydney or her brother Davy (a “wizard with a webpage) or her great-aunt Lillian will give my blog readers a spell or charm. Aunt Lillian also likes to give Household Hints, which she says are similar to spells. This weeks spell comes from Davy:

A WART OR PIMPLE CURE

To remove warts or pimples, take a small dried bean and rub it against the imperfection. Dig a hole in the ground and drop the bean into it, while saying, “As this bean decays, so will my wart (pimple) go away.” Like all banishing rituals, this one should be performed during the waning moon. Use a different bean for each blemish.

Over and out,

Deni Magic-Stubborn Dietz